Sunday, March 13, 2011
Weekend relaxing
We had a really nice weekend. Brooklyn felt good all weekend, had lots of energy and her fever never came back. I took Braden and Kayla to a birthday party, and it was fun to just relax and have fun talking to other parents, especially since I don't get to do it that much anymore. Then I got to spend the afternoon with my mom and aunt, celebrating their birthday, and our wonderful husbands made dinner for us when we got home. It was great. Brooklyn is definitely still feisty, but her appetite is nearly nonexistent. She went from eating non-stop, to not eating anything. Our good friends Mason and Jen stopped by tonight on their way home from Tahoe and the kids were so excited to see them, running around and jumping off the furniture and tackling Mason. It was great to see them and hang out for awhile. I have had a tough time the last few days just coming to the realization again of how much our life has to be different now. I really love when I am hanging out with my friends and our kids are all running around having fun together. It doesn't stress me out, the craziness is fun for me and them! I love taking care of friends' kids and just having a house full or car full, it makes me happy. It is hard for me now because I can't do those things anymore. I feel like this disease has changed who I can be, but I know it is just changing how we are living right now, not who we are inside. It is crazy to think that God knew that Brooklyn was going to get cancer even before she was born. I know it must be hard for Him to see her going through this time too because He is her Father and loves her even more that we do. I know that even though it seems hard and I wish we could do things like we always have in the past, that God is using this time in our lives to shape us and make us stronger and into the people that He knows we can be. It's exciting to know that He's working on us, but it's certainly not always easy. :)
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Deep thinking, Kristin!
ReplyDeleteBrooklyn's journey has certainly made childhood cancer REAL and CLOSE.
Overcoming this disease is more a marathon than a sprint...I really understand just wanting it to be OVER so that life can be back to its normal CRAZY pace. This new 'crazy' is hard to get used to. TOO QUIET! ;)
Of course, we opt for too quiet over late night adventures at the hospital...but I know what you mean. I always liked a houseful of noise, toys, snacks, games..and yes, you STILL ARE THAT MOM, and you STILL ARE THAT FAMILY! You will be driving a giant car for a long long time cuz you will be the mom who takes kids to field trips, away games, etc etc etc. And your house will be FULL (until it is suddenly empty and you and Mike are empty nesters!) I will have to remind you of that when you are turning 50! ha ha
Are there any support groups for families? It strikes me that one may go thru the seven stages of greiving...loss, anger, acceptance...As a parent, you have lost that hope/knowledge/quest that you can keep your babies safe from any harm! It is what we all want, and of course it is NOT realistic...but I remember imagining I could put my kids in a magic bubble of love so they could sail thru life unscathed.
Of course, just like the trees that were grown in the biosphere (perfect environment) whose trunks ended up so weak they were unable to support the tree, we all need our bumps, bruises, disapointments and challenges to make us strong.
I know that for me, it would help to talk to other parents who are dealing with the same thing, and especially those who are on the other side of this journey.
I bet that will be you one day, helping other Moms and Dads whose kids are battling this...
I keep reminding myself that "IT WILL BE OTAY!", and I can hear Brookie's voice saying that.
I so agree...we are all given the oppportunity to learn the lessons we need to learn...but it is NOT EASY!
Hugs to everybody! love always,Kathy
I couldn't agree with Kathy more. I hope you and your husband can find a support group and take the time to attend. I wish I would've been involved in one sooner for our own struggles in life. I can't begin to tell you the inner peace it brings to your soul. Especially when God is at the center of the support group.
ReplyDeleteI have to tell you how happy it makes me to see you out and about. I love seeing everyone clamouring to say hello or share a smile with you. It says a lot about who you are and what your family means to everyone.
I can imagine you are feeling more than a little out of sorts w/o your old "normal" routine. Rest assured some day you'll even miss pieces of this new routine and the quiet times your family share now. Crazy to think but it's true. Sending you HUGS and I will be praying you find peace and a new sense of purpose and joy while you wait for Brooklyn to be healed and life to return to normal.
You are right. He is working on you, your family, and growing you, strengthening you, despite the trials and challenges. He did know, God is in control, and you are growing in the Lord.
ReplyDeleteSo nice to see that you had a relaxed weekend and had fun sharing with other parents. Brooklyn feeling well all weekend was such a bonus too! :) (:
I am sure the hospital has parent support groups with children in similar conditions that you and Mike could connect with if needed.
Happy Birthdays to your Mom and Aunt too and being well served for dinner!