Steroids Stink

It was a rough week in the Frank house. After starting the steroids again with Brookie Tuesday night, it has gotten worse each time she has had to take them. It is absolutely emotionally draining. Tonight it took 45 minutes of straight crying and screaming and flailing before we got her to take them. We had to go to the infusion lab again today for Brooklyn to get more chemo. It was one that goes in her IV and it took about 2 1/2 hours or so. She did well, they worry about an allergic reaction with the kind she got today, so it made me nervous. The nurse said it is usually with breathing and it is pretty intense and immediate. She did great though and had no problems. She wasn't into watching a movie and ended up falling asleep in my lap. I talked to the nurse about getting the steroids in the liquid form like we had last time because I figured it might be easier to just shoot it in her mouth instead of making her take 14 pills a day, but apparently there is a shortage of that drug so it is only available in pill form right now. Awesome. She suggested putting them in gummy bears, so I tried that tonight, but she didn't want anything to do with them. Then I tried to put them in a peanut butter cup, but she wouldn't try it. Finally I put yogurt on the spoon with them because the ice cream has been melting because she puts up such a fuss. It is awful. She has learned to cry with her mouth closed so that we can't get the medicine in there. To sit on top of her and force her mouth open while she is screaming and crying and making up excuses why she can't do it, is not something that is for the faint of heart. I cried all day Wednesday. She is doing so well, and I know she has to do this as part of the process, but it is not fun. She hasn't gotten the crazy hunger back yet so that is good, but she has woken up every night because the steroids make her leak in her bed. So, every night we are up changing her sheets. The bright side of this week was that our sweet Kelsey turned 1 yesterday. All of our kids have been really good, but she is truly amazing. Basically half of her life, her sister has been sick and our world has been turned upside down. When we were in the hospital that first week, people just brought her back and forth so she could nurse, and she was always happy and smiling. Now, she is starting to walk on her own and eats all kinds of food and is such a happy girl. I hate that this is all happening and I know it is affecting our other kids too. I'm sure Kelsey doesn't know the difference, but I still feel bad that I can maybe not pay as much attention to her as I should and for the days I'm away from her so much. It is so great to see how happy the kids all are to be together. Braden and Kayla got to go to their friend's birthday party together today and had such a fun time, and when we got home this afternoon, Brooklyn and Kelsey hugged each other tight and Brookie said, "Ohhh my little baby." I know kids are resilient and they will all be fine through this time, but there are definitely some hard days.