tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38770386793434539402024-02-19T07:59:32.981-08:00Brooklyn's JourneyBrooklyn Frank was diagnosed with ALL Leukemia in January, 2011. She is joined by her parents, Mike and Kristin, brother, Braden, and sisters, Kayla and Kelsey, in her fight against
this disease. She continues to receive treatment each week and we look forward to celebrating the day she is cancer free. Brooklyn’s courageous spirit has inspired so many through this journey. We will post updates on this site as we get new information. We appreciate all of your prayers and support!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger121125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-82896623141222495732013-04-06T20:26:00.000-07:002013-04-06T20:26:04.483-07:00No More Drugs!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Praise God from Whom all blessings flow, praise Him all creatures here below. Praise Him above ye heavenly host, praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost. I remember singing that song in church as a kid and I cannot think of more appropriate words to describe how we are feeling today. This morning we gave Brooklyn her last dose of chemo! It was such a big deal for us because we know how long the last two years and three months have been. We know how much she has gone through and how hard it has been to see her in pain. We know how many people have been praying for her and for our whole family. We also know what a miracle it is that she is cured! Brooklyn, on the other hand, doesn't completely understand that she is done. She seemed excited when we told her, but I don't think she really gets it. It has been such a part of her every day routine for so long, I'm sure it's hard for her to imagine it changing. We have definitely had a crazy packed month since my last post. A few days after I wrote about finding out about her final day of meds and how great she has been doing, we ended up in the hospital. I had this whole idea for another post about jinx-ing stuff, like you never tell a pitcher he is throwing a no-hitter; you never tell someone that if they make the next putt, they will break 80; and you never say, wow- the traffic is really moving! I had just gotten done saying that we hadn't gone to the hospital in over a year, and what do you know...we end up going. :) Not that I believe in any of that jinx stuff-it is just funny, and of course I never had time to sit down and write it! Brooklyn got a fever one Saturday after we went to Kayla's basketball game. We had a few hours at home before Braden's game and she all of a sudden had a temperature. We were so used to her being so healthy that both Mike and I were shocked. We called the hospital and spoke with the on-call oncologist and she said we needed to come in. However, Braden had a playoff basketball game and Mike had scheduled baseball practice so we had to go to those before we could go to the hospital. After the game and practice, my parents came over to watch the other kids and we took Brooklyn down to the hospital. We were sure we would be back soon, because seemed to feel okay and her fever had dropped some, so it didn't seem like we really needed to go. We knew we had to though, so we went down to the ER and got checked in. One thing they worry about when Brooklyn gets a fever is that she may have an infection in her port, which would be a big deal because it leads right to her heart. They did a chest X-ray because she had had a cough for awhile and her home nurse had heard some junk in her lungs earlier in the week, so we figured she probably had pneumonia. However, the X-ray didn't show anything, so they figured she must have something else going on. She had to do a blood culture and urine sample and they hooked her up to an IV just keep her line open. They started giving her antibiotics since she had a fever, and finally decided to admit us to the children's floor at about 1:00am. Mike had gone home to be with the kids and Brooklyn finally fell asleep a little before midnight. I was so tired too, but so many people come in and out and ask questions, there isn't much time for sleeping. It was nice to finally get upstairs because my friend Brandi was working that night so she helped me get Brookie all settled and got the chair bed set up for me. Brookie's fever came back the next day so they decided we had to stay another night. They never were quite sure what caused the fever but we were able to go home finally Monday night. We had a relaxing next few days just staying home and trying to stay healthy, especially because Mike and I had to leave on Thursday to go to Arizona for a work function. It was a great trip and we were able to relax even though we were apprehensive about being away so soon after she had been sick. Thankfully she stayed healthy and all the kids had a fun time with my parents. A few days after we got back, it was Brooklyn's 5th birthday! We celebrated with her friends at Chuck E Cheese and it was a great day. She was on steroids again that week so she didn't feel great, but we still had a lot of fun. Since she was diagnosed when she was just 2, she has celebrated 3 out of 5 birthdays while going through treatment. She is such a trooper. The rest of March was filled with more birthdays- my mom, my aunt and mine, along with our normal busy routine. Kayla and Brooklyn have started swim clinics because they are going to be on the swim team this summer. We had the last week of March off from school for spring break, and that was fun. We just stayed in town and enjoyed sleeping in and not doing homework! We went to a movie, a baseball game and mini-golfing, we colored eggs with friends and had a wonderful Easter. And Brooklyn and Kayla both lost their first teeth!! It was a busy week in our house! This last Monday we had Brooklyn's last appointment where she got chemo in her port. She started steroids again Monday night and so it was another rough week where she didn't feel good, but also so exciting because she finished one drug Tuesday night, finished a different one Thursday night and her last steroid this morning! Now all she has left to do is take her antibiotics three times a week for the next 6 months, which seems like nothing after all the other stuff she's had to take. She will still go see the oncologist once a month for a check up and blood test for the next year, and then after that she will be tested every three months for a year and then once yearly. In 6 months, she will be able to start catching up on her immunizations, and so will Kayla and Kelsey, who haven't been able to receive theirs in order to keep Brooklyn healthy. We also made an appointment to get her port taken out in a few weeks. I had thought we would wait a little longer, just to give her a little break, but I found out that if she gets a fever even after being off medication, we would still have to go to the hospital and put her on antibiotics because of the chance of a port infection. I also found out that after it is taken out, they don't want it to be submerged (like in the pool or bath) for 7 days, so we thought it would be better to do it now before it gets super hot and she will want to swim every day. She will start Kindergarten this fall and most people will have no idea all she has gone through before her school years even started, but we will never forget and will be forever thankful that she has overcome such a scary disease.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-74628000990671216322013-02-08T21:35:00.000-08:002013-02-08T21:35:04.305-08:00Numbers<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I have always been kind of a 'numbers' person. I usually did well in math in school and I enjoy figuring out math equations (to an extent!) At this point in my life, with four kids, there are always a lot of numbers floating around in my head. Knowing everyone's birthdays, what time they need to get dropped off and picked up from school or practice or a friends' house, how many pages of homework to do, how many minutes they read every day... I know in every house with kids, the story is the same. With Brooklyn, there is a whole new set of numbers to remember- how many pills she takes every night, what her blood counts are, what temperature her fever needs to be for us to go into the hospital. It is an every day necessity, remembering how many pills on which days - it's not something we can forget or screw up. There are a lot of things and numbers to remember! It's also weird to look at Kelsey now and think that she is about the age that Brooklyn was when she was diagnosed. It's hard to remember back to the time before Brooklyn had leukemia, she doesn't remember anything from before she was sick at all. Taking medication daily and going to the doctor regularly is so much a part of who she is now. She even said the other day that she never wants to take her "special necklace" (her port) out. It makes me happy that we have made her feel special that she has her necklace, but also kind of sad that she is almost comforted by having it there because she's been sick for so long - about half of her life. But there is another set of numbers that is super exciting... Our countdown to the end of Brooklyn's treatment. It is hard to believe that she is almost done! Not to say that the last two years have flown by, because that is not the case at all; there have been some long days and trying times for sure, as well sleepless nights when we have been very worried about her health. But God has brought us through the last two years with little interruption to her treatment schedule, and He has brought us so much support through the caring concern others have shown our family. When we went in to the doctor this week, she heard fluid in Brooklyn's lungs. It is something I've been waiting for - it seems unreal that we haven't been admitted to the hospital since last winter! I am happy about it and extremely glad that she's been so healthy, but we've all had a bad cough and cold over the last month or so and I keep thinking that she is going to get pneumonia again. The doctor wasn't entirely sure that it is pneumonia, but she put Brookie on a additional antibiotic just in case. I was relieved because I was assuming she would have to be checked into the hospital, but as long as she stays fever free, she won't have to. It has been a rough week for her with being on steroids and the additional antibiotic. She has felt progressively worse every day. Her cough does seem to be better though so that is good. The exciting part of her appointment was when the nurse came in and gave us Brooklyn's calendar of treatment for the next few months. Her final day of treatment is April 4th!!! I can't believe it is so soon! I was thinking about it the other day when we were driving somewhere and I got this almost overwhelming feeling of joy and excitement. Next week is her last spinal tap! It seemed insurmountable when they said she would receive about 25 spinal taps during the course of her treatment, and now here we are - at the last one! This entire experience over the last 2 + years has taught me that no matter what the numbers may be, as overwhelming and scary as they may seem, if we just take every day one at a time, God will get us through.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-15936777665638706452012-12-22T19:30:00.002-08:002012-12-22T19:30:38.414-08:00Joy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Wow! I've almost gone 3 holidays without updating the blog! Somehow October - December just seems to absolutely fly by! I always think that next year I'll be more organized so it won't seem to get so busy and crazy, but here we are 3 days til Christmas and I still need to wrap presents and I haven't done hardly any baking and I'm running out of time! We had a really fun Halloween. This was our second year trick-or-treating in our new neighborhood and we had fun walking around with friends from school. The kids took their pillowcases so they could hold as much candy as they possible, and they <em>still</em> have candy left!! November was crazy, the kids had conferences at school so they had a full week of minimum days and then a week off for Thanksgiving. I loved hanging out with them so much, I felt like it was summer again- only colder! I took all the kids to get a haircut one day on their break. It was Kelsey's first haircut ever and she was so cute, asking me beforehand if it was going to hurt. :) The more I thought about it, I think it may have been Brooklyn's first haircut too. Before she was diagnosed, I was letting her hair grow long and it was so beautiful and thick for only being two! I am sure I trimmed her bangs a few times, but I don't think I ever took her to a shop to get her "first hair cut." Of course last summer, when her hair was all falling out, we shaved her head, but I don't count that as her first one. I went to one of those kid places that has toys and movies and she was so excited to sit in one of the race car chairs and get her hair cut. She had another spinal tap in November, and while we were there, I was thinking that she only has one or two more to go until she's done! When they told us that first week we were in the hospital that she would have about 25 spinal taps, I just cried. I couldn't imagine her having to go through all of that. Now I feel like I could cry because she has almost completed all of them! She is truly amazing. We got to spend Thanksgiving with Mike's family in Southern California. It was so much fun to be down there and play with all of the cousins and aunts and uncles, and Grandma and Grandpa of course! The weather was beautiful and the pool was warm so the kids went swimming every day! The first weekend in December, we were fortunate enough to go to a party at the hospital for kids going through treatment. It was so nicely done, there was food and treats and crafts and activities for the kids, and each of the kids that attended (including siblings) got a present from Santa. It was really such a nice thing that our family all got to do together. This month when Brooklyn had her week of steroids again, I felt so bad for her. I could see that when she would get angry, it was like she didn't have any control over it. I felt like I could better understand the term "'roid rage". We will always joke about her anger when she is on the steroids, but this last time, I felt like I could really see it taking its toll on her. She would just explode when the littlest thing set her off, but you could tell she didn't mean it and she would cry after she would get so mad. She also felt horrible again and would fall asleep on the couch a lot. The director at preschool called last Wednesday to tell me that Brooklyn wasn't feeling well and was resting on a chair with a blanket, which usually doesn't happen. She usually powers through and plays even when she isn't feeling great. She stayed home on Friday and then Monday, she threw up in the car the whole way to school, so we turned around and came back home. We try to stay in our routine as much as possible, but some weeks are harder than others to stay on track. We have been extra busy lately because the kids have had performances and parties at school and the girls had gymnastics performances too. We've had something to go to almost every day over the last couple weeks. Mike and I did get a little break last weekend when we got to fly to Scottsdale for his company's Christmas party. It was fun to get away and relax, even though it rained the whole time! :) We must've brought the cold weather with us! My parents stayed with the kids and we packed the weekend for them with basketball for both Braden and Kayla and going to see Santa and the firefighters when they drive through the neighborhood Saturday night. The highlight for Brookie was when an elf ran up the driveway to give her a candy cane because she didn't feel well enough to go down the street with the other kids to see Santa. Brooklyn had her performance for preschool Wednesday night. She did a great job and was so excited to sing on stage with her friends. It is amazing to see how well she is doing even with all the medicine she still has to take every day. I was thinking the other day that it is hard to remember what life was like before she got sick, and if it's hard for me to remember, I'm sure that she doesn't remember a time when she didn't have to take medicine. It's such a normal thing for her now, sometimes she even reminds us that she needs to take it. When I think about all she has gone through, and been so strong the whole time, I know that she will be able to get through anything life brings her way as she grows older. We have felt so incredibly blessed throughout this experience with the support we have received and still receive today. We hope you all have a wonderful Christmas with your families. We are looking forward to another fun Christmas with our little ones. <br />
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<br /><br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-6208575965209935052012-10-05T15:56:00.000-07:002012-10-05T15:58:12.736-07:00Long Road<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It has been so long since I've written an update! It seems like we are
busier than ever and I get so tired at the end of the day that I just
keep thinking- I'll write tomorrow. Brooklyn has started preschool! I
was so happy after the first 'meet the teacher' day when we left and she
said, "I love my teachers and I love my class." Our preschool director
is wonderful and put a lot of the same kids together in class again and
they also have one of their same teachers from last year. I think that
it is great for Brooklyn because she wasn't always excited to go to
school last year, and missed a lot of days when she wasn't feeling well,
so the similarly of her school environment this year is good for her.
Her blood counts have remained good, even with her being on the highest
dosages of all of her medications. It proves once again how strong her
body is and how blessed we are that she is fighting so hard to stay
healthy. This last month has been a long one though. I was noticing the
effects that this disease and treatment process has had on our whole
family. It seems like we have been doing this for so long, and I know we
are close to being done (she will receive treatment through April or
May) but we are all kind of run down from the last year and a half. It
makes me super thankful that the treatment plan for girls is shorter
than the plan for boys- boys have to do it all for an additional year!
Ugh. This last round of steroids was a tough week in our house. Whenever
Brooklyn had to take them, I can tell that she doesn't feel very well
the whole week. This last time, instead of eating more than normal (as
you would expect from steroids), she ate almost nothing at all. I
don't know why that happened- if she was just feeling so bad that she
didn't want to eat anything, or nothing sounded good or what. It was
hard because I could tell she felt terrible and I think eating nothing
just compounded that. I kept trying to convince her to eat something, but she just didn't want to. She fell asleep on the couch two afternoons and
was really crabby to everyone all week. She will say mean things to us
and it's hard to not get upset about it after she does it over and over.
I know she doesn't mean to be mean, but it's a challenge trying to
balance disciplining her for her actions and deciding what to let go
because we know she's feeling so bad. What has added to the challenge is
that Kelsey has started mimicking the bad things that Brooklyn says.
That puts me in an even harder situation because I have to reprimand
Kelsey for saying mean things, but I know she is learning it all from
watching Brooklyn. We have tried to use Kelsey's bad behavior as an
example to Brookie of why she can't be mean to others, so hopefully they
will both learn and only happy words will be said in our house. :) I
can also see the drain on the other kids. It was Braden's birthday a
couple weeks ago and we had our family party the night of his birthday.
It was extra special because my aunt and uncle were visiting from
Montana so they got to be here with us. Part of one of Braden's gifts
was some bubble gum. It was one of the nights that Brooklyn didn't want
to eat anything and she started screaming and crying that all she wanted was some of
Braden's gum. We have been trying to get her to just talk or ask for
things that she wants without freaking out, but it's a hard lesson for
her to learn. Braden finally walked over to her and handed her the roll
of bubble tape. It was so sweet and so mature of him. I bought him a new
pack of gum the next day and told him how proud I was of him for giving
his present to her, and he said, "it's just gum mom." I know it's not a
big thing, and I'm so happy that our kids are good at sharing :) but I hope that they don't develop any kind of jealousy or bitterness towards Brooklyn because she so often gets her way. I don't think they will because they really seem to rally together as a team whenever she gets in trouble. I told her that if she didn't act better yesterday, she wouldn't get to help us decorate for Halloween, so Braden and Kayla piped up and said, "then I'm not decorating either." I am so happy that they do stand up for eachother when they feel like they need to. I started crying this morning because it can be so hard when she
changes her mind so frequently. Before we left for school, Brooklyn wanted Kix, then two minutes later she didn't want
any. So I gave her a muffin that I know she likes and had eaten the
night before, and she started screaming that she didn't want that, she
wanted Kix in a baggie. I started thinking, how am I going to make her
act better? I try and try to talk to her about the right way to act and
talk, but she still acts out. I keep thinking that when she is done with
her treatment and doesn't have to take medication every single day,
everything will be better. She'll instantly be kind and loving because
she will feel better. But I just came to the realization that that isn't
going to happen. It's similar to her and eating. I know the chemo can
change the taste of food for her, but I can't imagine that all of a
sudden when she's done, she is going to want to eat vegetables and the dinner I am
serving every night. Now, that can be said of lots of kids, I'm aware
that most kids are picky eaters, and that is something that we can work
on, but we will have to work on her behavior as well. I am in no way
trying to sound like a sob story. I know how amazingly blessed we are to
have the support from our family and so many people are praying for
Brooklyn and our family. And, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
She is being cured and she will be able to grow up and live a normal
life. I was thinking today about her doctor telling us that 30 years
ago, the cure rate for ALL was like 5%. Today it is closer to 95%. I am
so thankful for the simple fact that we live at this time, when our
little girl can be cured. And I know that we have never been alone. We
sang a song in church a few weeks ago that said, "Never once did I ever
walk alone. Never once did You leave us on our own. You are faithful,
God you are faithful." It is the perfect chorus to describe our walk the
last year and nine months. We are blessed every day and I am so
thankful for that. And Brooklyn still lights up a room with her smile and her heart. She is a joy, even through all her tough days. <br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-33349722687139760932012-08-22T09:11:00.001-07:002012-08-22T09:11:19.262-07:00Strength<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
When I think of the word 'strength', I typically think of something that
is strong. A body builder, a heavy duty industrial structure, something
big. But Strength can be witnessed in a variety of ways. It is evident
in a widow who has unexpectedly lost her husband and has to figure out
not only how to run her household, but how to raise her kids on her own.
It can be seen in an athlete who gives up so much of their personal
lives in order to strive to become the best at what they do. It can be
seen in a couple who unselfishly tends to every need of their
handicapped child every day of their lives. And it can be seen in a four
year old child, battling a life threatening disease yet wearing a smile
unceasingly. We had Brooklyn's monthly checkup with her oncologist
yesterday. She is still handling all of her medication really well, and
her blood results from yesterday confirmed that she is a strong fighter.
Her ANC level has consistently been above 1500, so the doctor
increased her medicine once again. She is getting a higher dosage now
for 3 out of her 4 weekly medications, and the reason the fourth wasn't
increased is because it's already in the high range for her size and
age. It makes me uncomfortable to give her so much medicine. I know the
doctor knows what is best for her, he is actually a professor at UC
Davis and has done a lot of research studies on pediatric cancer, but as
a mom, I still hate to give her so much. I was talking to my dad
recently about it and it is basically like she is a healthy kid that we
are making sick because we are giving her all this medication. Mike is
always good at reminding me that the studies have shown that her blood
levels need to be in this certain range for 2 years in order to be sure
that the cancer won't come back. When I think of it that way, I know
that what we are doing is the best thing for her, so that she can grow
up and have a healthy, normal life after all of this treatment is done.
It just seems like she's been doing it for such a long time already. Her
steroids that she is taking this week were one of the meds that was
increased, so it will be interesting to see if the increased dose makes a
difference in her mood swings or eating habits at all. She also had a
spinal tap today. She was scheduled for one of the first ones, so we had
to be to the infusion room by 8:00. She was great getting up and out,
but didn't know why she couldn't have anything to eat on our way. My mom
met us there so she could take Kelsey back home with her while Mike was
home with Braden and Kayla, getting them up and out to school. They are
already in their third week (which seems crazy!) and they are both
loving their teachers and being back with friends. While Brooklyn's port
was being accessed in the infusion room, one of the nurses helped us
get caught up on our beads for Brookie's 'beads of courage' necklace. It
always seems like things get so busy that I forget to ask for the beads
she has earned when we go into the clinic, so we had over a year to
collect at our quick appointment today. As I strung them together this
afternoon, it was pretty emotional to think of all she has gone through
in the last year and a half. I would've never wanted this for her, or
for any child for that matter, yet she has shown such incredible
strength through this whole process. Even today, waiting for her spinal
tap, she played in the waiting room with toys and stickers, laughing and
joking with the nurses and me like we were just at a big playdate. We
usually have a resident anesthesiologist that administers her
anesthesia, and they don't ever give her enough the first time, maybe
it's just that her body is so strong, or she's used to it so she needs a
little more medicine to fall asleep all the way, but it happened again
today. When the doctor tried to poke the needle in her spine, she
squirmed half way across the table. The anesthesiologist had to give her
more, and the doctor was finally able to get the needle in the right
place in her spine. He did a good job, but I always wince when her body
squirms because I think she can feel the giant needle. :( She never
seems to remember anything about the surgery though. She found the
bandaid on her back this afternoon and asked why she had it there, so I
told her it was from when the doctor gave her some medicine in her back,
and she had no idea what I was talking about. She didn't remember any
of it. What an amazing gift that God has given her in the ability to be
so strong throughout all she's going through, and also the ability to
completely forget most of it. We were extra lucky when we were done
today because we got to meet my parents at Leatherby's for lunch. It is
my dad's birthday today and both he and Brooklyn decided that 'wedabees'
would be the perfect place to go after her spinal tap. She enjoyed her
caramel sundae down to the last bite. :) She starts preschool next
week, and my prayer is that everyone stays healthy this fall &
winter as colds and flu bugs start to pop up again around school. I am
so thankful for our fun summer and wonderful visits we had with our
family and friends, and look forward to many more in the months to come.
We are continuously uplifted by strength from our awesome God, and
inspired by Brooklyn's strength and determination.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-61481474205081921032012-07-24T21:13:00.001-07:002012-07-24T21:13:51.466-07:00Hurry Up and Slow Down<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
When you first have a baby, people who already have children often say,
"it goes so fast." It can be hard to see that in those first few months
when you aren't getting sleep, there's a lot of crying and you're up to
your ears in diapers. But as your kids get older and you have more kids,
the time does seem to speed up. This summer has been a good example of
time flying. This month, we have had friends come visit from Arizona,
Texas and the bay area. It has been so much fun to get visit with people
that are so special in our lives, especially since we really haven't
traveled much since Brooklyn got sick. We typically like to go places
and visit family and friends (the crazy ones that can handle this family
of 6!) but we have stayed pretty close to home the last year and a half
to avoid infection and to be sure we aren't too far from Brookie's
doctors. The first year or so she also had a lot of doctor appointments,
home health visits and infusion room trips. With her schedule now, we
are able to be more flexible, as long as we have her daily medicine with
us when we go somewhere. Along with our fun visitors, Braden and Kayla
also went to VBS at our church one week this month. Brooklyn actually
was old enough to go this year, but we didn't want to expose her to
being around so many kids in such close quarters. I tried to do fun
stuff with the two little girls each morning that the older two were at
camp. They have also been playing Jr Golf at my parents' golf course on
Mondays. Yesterday Braden won the 6 hole and Kayla won the 2 hole
championship!! This last weekend Mike and I got to go up to Oregon for a
good friend's surprise birthday party. It was beautiful and relaxing
and fun to hang out with friends we don't get to see often enough. The
kids had a fun weekend with my parents and aunt and uncle, but their
favorite part was when GaGa and Nana finally got their hair wet in the pool! I
can't believe that school starts in less than 3 weeks but when I look
at all we've done this month, I can see how quickly the time has gone!
I'm still in denial that they have to go back so soon. Yesterday morning Brooklyn had her monthly appointment. It was actually
great to talk with the doctor about the remainder of her treatment and
what she will have to do when it's over- how often she'll get tested,
when her port will come out, when she will catch up on her
immunizations, etc. Her growth and everything is still great and she did
well getting her blood drawn and getting chemo in the infusion room
again. Her blood counts were all really good, so we took the kids to Six Flags
today. The older kids had gotten tickets from reading a certain number
of hours during school this year and we wanted to have a fun family day
together since school is starting so soon! It was a perfect day to go,
we hardly waited in a line more than 10 minutes and the weather was
great. Brooklyn and Kelsey got tired toward the end of the day, but so
did I! I so enjoy these days when the kids are still young and we
have fun all being together, I want time to slow down so that we have
more days like this. However, at the same time, I feel like I want the
next year to go by fast so Brooklyn can be done with all of her
treatment and surgeries and we won't have to worry about her getting
sick anymore. But then, everyone will be a year older and into more
stuff, so I think I want time to go slow until then. I know that what we want most of all is for our whole family to be healthy and happy, and I know that time will be here soon, and we are enjoying every day until then.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-30524916957506259642012-06-26T10:19:00.001-07:002012-06-26T10:19:28.309-07:00Ups and Downs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
I was lucky enough to attend the wedding of my good college friend, Mary, up in Portland a couple weeks ago. Mike was on the committee in charge of planning a golf tournament here in town on Monday morning, so he wasn't able to go with me. I was sad to travel without Mike and the kids, but it was a really great weekend, getting to see all of my college roommates and some other good friends. It was nice to get away for the weekend and just not have to do laundry for 2 days! Mike and my parents took care of the kids while I was gone, and they all had a great time and, thankfully, stayed healthy. I flew back on Monday afternoon and our home nurse Wendi had come over that morning to check Brooklyn's blood. I had to stop at Costco on my way home to pick up some of Brooklyn's prescriptions, and Wendi sent me a text with Brookie's numbers while I was shopping. Her ANC has been consistently high and they have increased two types of her chemo in order to make sure that she is fighting as hard as possible to keep the cancer away. The one chemo that she takes every Tuesday has made her really sick every Wednesday morning, so much so that I have been wanting to call the doctor and tell them I don't want her to have the increased dosage anymore, at least not as long as it makes her so sick. However, when Wendi texted her numbers, her ANC had dropped from 2100 to 840. It totally stressed me out because even though I know that they want her range to be in between 750 - 1500, I am always happy when she is on the upper end of that spectrum because I feel like her body is strong and healthy. Technically, since her number was 840, she still fell in the range they want her to be in, so she was okay. However, if it would dip below 750, they would hold her chemo for awhile, and if it gets down to 500, that's when we are on "house arrest" and aren't allowed to go anywhere and have to be really careful with germs. It was crazy because I have been feeling so positive and confident in the last few weeks, with going out places, taking Brookie to gym class, even just trips to the store. Her counts dropping reminded me how truly dependent we are on how hard her body is fighting and that I shouldn't be over-confident in my thinking. We really have been doing almost everything we want to do and Brooklyn has been feeling well and keeping up with the rest of us. I realized that Monday when I got home that we need to still be cautious and careful and slow down. I decided not to take her to gym class that week, just to try to minimize any germs that she might be exposed to with so many other little kids in the same class. I also tried to not take her out as much. I kind of wanted her levels to be checked again last week, just so that I wouldn't be worrying about them or wondering if they had dipped, but they didn't think that it was necessary. Last week was a busy one for us. Braden started baseball camp at Sac State so we were up and out every morning by 8:15. It was hard to get everyone up and fed and out, but it was nice to be up and ready for each day bright and early. We have been having fun playing outside with friends and swimming and enjoying the beautiful summer weather. We managed to make it through 2 weeks without Brookie getting sick, and me not worrying too much about her counts, but just trying to be extra cautious with our hand washing and places we choose to go. I know that God is listening to my worries and has His hand on Brooklyn, and she helps me find strength too when she will say things like, "Mom, you know what? I love God the most." just out of the blue sometimes. Friday, I got to take the girls to see Elmo and the rest of the Sesame Street characters in a performance. My aunt's company gave us tickets in their suite, so it was great because we were really not around many people, even though we were in a big arena. The girls loved all the singing and dancing and it was fun to get to take them to a show. Yesterday, we went back to the Oncologist after dropping Braden off at baseball camp again. The doctor thought Brookie looked really good and listened to my concerns about her nausea (although interestingly enough, last Wednesday she didn't get sick like she had been, so maybe her body is getting used to the increased dosage). After her checkup, we went to the infusion room to get blood drawn and her monthly chemo. It was a little crazier than usual because Kayla and Kelsey were with us, but everyone did fine. I was thrilled to get the message last night that her counts are back up to 1700 again. I am amazed at what a strong little fighter she is and how hard her body works to stay healthy. I was pretty excited this morning because I actually had to trim Brooklyn's bangs. It was just about a year ago that we sat outside and shaved her head because her hair was falling out in such big clumps. It is growing back just beautifully and she is looking so good, it is wonderful to see how far she's come over the last year.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-81681629231169327872012-06-08T23:11:00.002-07:002012-06-08T23:14:34.054-07:00Summertime!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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School's out! Yay! The kids have been out of school for 2 weeks now and
we have been loving it! It's not that we slow down a ton when school is
out, it's just great to be on our own schedule. The weekend after school
got out we went to a baseball game in Stockton. We had so much fun and
once again Brooklyn and Kelsey were obsessed with the mascot. Our friend
who coaches the Visalia team made sure that each of the kids got a
ball, so they were super excited. Then we had a party to celebrate my
parents' 40th anniversary. It was so much fun to honor their amazing
commitment to each other. Last Monday Brooklyn had another spinal tap.
It was the last time we were going to see one of the nurse's in the
operating room because she is retiring, so it was sad to say goodbye to
her. We get really attached to these nurses who help to make this time
in our lives so much easier. They really have an amazing gift of being
able to make such a serious situation, something that we are able to get
through with ease. We went to the water park by our house last week
which was really fun. It was a hot day so the water felt good! It was
also great because last summer we weren't able to go to the park much
because of Brooklyn's broviak and the fact that it wasn't supposed to
get wet. Swimming has been so much easier too. Brooklyn apparently
thinks she is part dolphin because she wants nothing to do with floaties
anymore. She is fearless. She is swimming all around the pool on her
own! She's not a super strong swimmer yet so Mike and I are on the edge
of the pool or in with her at all times. It is great to see how strong
she has become. We also finally finished our baseball season! Kayla had
her last game and then end of season party last Saturday and then we
had Braden's last game after that. It was also Kelsey's 2nd birthday
that day! She had a fun filled day of baseball and we celebrated her
birthday that night. Sunday was Braden's end of season party, and it was
fun to have the whole team together hanging out one last time. This
week we've had some fun days relaxing at home and playing with friends.
Kayla and Brooklyn took turns sleeping in Braden's room this week, which
was super fun because they don't usually get to do that during the
school year. It was sweet to see how much each girl missed sleeping in
the same room with her sister when they were apart just one night. I
love that as they are all growing up together, they are also becoming
friends. I took Brooklyn to My Gym today for her first class in over a
year. The last time she went to a gym class was the day we took her
blood test and found out that she had leukemia. It was so exciting to
see her get to enjoy running around and playing, just like she did when
she was 2. I think that going to class will help her with some of her
gross motor skills that may have been a little affected by having so
much chemo. Her blood counts have all remained good, so one of her types
of chemo was increased this week. She has been nautious pretty
regularly this last month, but it's almost just kind of normal in our
morning routine now. She'll drink some juice and then say she needs a
bucket and either dry heave or spit up a little. It was tougher this
Wednesday morning when I jumped out of bed because I heard her throwing
up in the bathroom. I think the upped dosage of medicine made it harder
for her because she was holding on to the toilet for dear life and her
whole little body was heaving. It was really hard to see her going
through that. It was also hard to hear my parents' friend say that he is
just starting to feel better now, and he finished all of his chemo and
radiation 6 months ago. There's a lot of yuck that's going into her
little body, but somehow it is curing her, so it is going to be worth it
in the end. And she's still smiling every day.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-83458208392621116122012-05-23T22:51:00.001-07:002012-05-23T22:51:48.266-07:00Family Ties<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We have had a pretty mellow couple of weeks. Well, it's never really mellow around our house, but at least we have been injury free and all of our eyes are working just fine. :) It's funny though because Brooklyn just said yesterday, "Mommy, my eyes aren't blurry anymore." I'm pretty sure they've been fine for awhile but maybe she just thought of putting the ointment in and how it would make them blurry for awhile. It is strange how Brooklyn's treatment has become such a normal part of our everyday lives. Someone just asked me yesterday if Brooklyn's treatment is pretty similar for the remainder of her schedule. I said yes, and just rattled off that we give her chemo pills at home every night, she gets chemo through her port once a month and spinal taps every three months. She kind of laughed and said something about how it was just so automatic for me explaining it, but that for anyone else, hearing all she has to do, is a lot. It made me stop to think and if you would've told me a year and a half ago the list of treatment that has become so normal for us now, I would've hyperventilated. In fact, I was just looking back through a prayer journal that I had and it was from October of 2010, when Brookie was having fevers and getting sick so often and I was praying for her blood tests and that her pediatrician would figure out what was going on with her. I was of course worried that it could be something bad, and was hoping that it wouldn't be. I do think that God heard my prayers and in a way blessed us with Brooklyn getting the type of cancer that she has. The fact that the cure rate is so high for ALL and that we have such a normal life even though she is fighting such a serious disease is really amazing. I don't know if I'm ready to say that I'm thankful that she got Leukemia, but I'm thankful for the way He continues to help us through it. It is such a normal part of our lives now that I have noticed how it has affected our kids in the last couple weeks. Kelsey loves to take the thermometer off the counter and go check Brookie's temperature, and she will always point at Brooklyn's medley of medicine bottles and say she wants medicine too. Then last week, I was listening to Kayla and Brooklyn as they were playing "pretend" together. They were most likely playing "mom and sister" where one of them is the mom and the other is the daughter, or they are both sisters, which always seems so funny to me because they really are sisters, but somehow it is more fun to play "pretend sisters." It's even funnier when I am the "pretend mom." I always think, will they clean up their room if I tell them to as the "pretend mom"? Anyway, Kayla said, "Brookie, pretend you have to go somewhere." And Brooklyn said, "Okay, I have to go to surgery." Kayla replied, "No Brookie, you really DO have to have surgery and you really DO have cancer, so pretend something else." I wanted to cry. Then Mike just told me the other day that when he was talking to Brooklyn, he said, "It's pretty cool that you have a special necklace isn't it Brookie?" (we used to call her broviak tubes her 'special necklace', so we still refer to her port as her special necklace sometimes.) She said, "yea, 'cause not a lot of kids have cancer." Then, about a month ago, our kids were playing with some kids we didn't know very well and one of them said something about how Brookie's hair was so short it looked like a boy's. Braden was so upset about it but he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want her to hear what they had said. I know that our family will grow and become stronger because of how Brooklyn's cancer has affected us all and I hope that my kids will be more sensitive to others with diseases or disabilities because of this time in our lives. I know I am learning more, through them, every day.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-1176792572280790392012-05-08T22:30:00.000-07:002012-05-08T22:30:19.670-07:00Aye Aye Matey!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We have remembered in this last week how important our eyes are. Last
Monday was Kayla's birthday. We got her off to school with cookies for
her class to celebrate. Brooklyn had her monthly appointment with her
oncologist so my mom came over to help watch Kelsey and get Braden to
school. As I was getting Brooklyn in the car, she found her stethoscope
from one of her nurses. It is a real one, and she likes playing with it,
pretending to be a doctor and listening to our hearts as well as
checking her stuffed animals' heart rates. However, as she grabbed it
out of the back of the car, I noticed that one of the rubber ear pieces
was missing so I told her she could hold it but she couldn't put it in
her ears because she could get hurt. I buckled her in her seat and ran
back in the house to get my keys. My mom was in the garage talking with
Brooklyn and all of a sudden she started yelling. I ran out to the
garage and saw the stethoscope stuck in Brookie's eye. She had had it on
her head and somehow it slipped into her eye. I could see it was stuck
under her eyelid so I ran to help her and she got it out right when I
got there. I didn't know how bad it was but she was crying and scared
and her tears had blood in them so I was worried for her. My mom got a
wet washcloth and Brookie held it on her eye all the way to the doctor's
office. Right when we pulled into the parking lot she said, "mom, I can
open my eye all the way!" like it was the most exciting thing she'd ever done. I
was so happy that we had an appointment that morning so we could get it
looked at right away. The oncologist we had that morning was so nice and
said she thought Brooklyn was looking really good. After her exam, she
looked at her eye and put some special dye in it to see if the cornea
had been scratched. We could clearly see a scratch in the white part of
her eye, but couldn't tell that there was a scratch on her iris until
she put the dye in. It was really cool the way it showed up, but sad
that she had scratched so much of her eye. The doctor put some
antibiotic ointment in it and then covered it with a patch. She said the cells
in the eye multiply so fast that she expected it to be fine by the next
day. As we were talking after her patch was on, I told her she was
super cool, like a pirate, and she said, "like Izzy?" from Jake and the
Neverland Pirates. Yes, like Izzy. Then we had to go into the infusion
room to draw blood and get her chemo. That all went well and Brookie
picked out a pillow case for herself and for each of her siblings. Even
in her time of pain, she was thinking of them. When we got back home, we
picked up Kelsey and Kayla and went to the park to have pizza and cake
with her friends from school. Brookie ran and played with the rest of
the kids just fine, although I was a little worried about her balance
since she could only see out of one eye. It was so crazy because I kept
feeling like you see shows on TV all the time where stuff like that
happens to kids, but you always kind of think, that wouldn't happen to
us, I'm a better parent than that. How does that happen? But it happens
so quickly! The stethoscope is in the garbage now, but we will be more
careful with everything I think. That night we had our family party and
it was a great time to be all together. Tuesday morning we had to go to
the pediatrician to have him check her eye. The scratch that had been on
the blue part of her eye was already gone but I had noticed that
morning that she had a scratch on the other side of her pupil as well.
Her doctor said that she was really lucky that she didn't scratch the
eye all the way across because she could've had vision damage if she
had. He wanted us to use the ointment three times a day for a week but
it was weird because when we put it in her eye, she cried and said it
stung, which it wasn't supposed to. He thought it was probably just a
reaction between the eye drops he had used and the ointment but he
prescribed a different one for her just in case it was truly bothering
her. However, when I went to the store to pick it up, they didn't have
it and no other pharmacy in the area had it either. So I decided to keep
the one we had and try it again to see if it was ok. She did fine with
it the rest of the week although sometimes she would say, it stings! And
I would say it does? And she would say - just jokin! After a few days
she started asking which eye it was that she had scratched, so I knew it
was getting better. :) She was even able to do her swim lessons
Wednesday and was fine. The rest of the week was pretty uneventful
(thank goodness!) except for baseball games. Mike's parents came to town
Friday so we got to spend the weekend with them. They got here in time
to go to Mike's softball game Friday night, we had two baseball games
Saturday and one last night. Baseball mania! Mike's mom is done with
chemo and is on the mend and we are so thankful for that. We got to
celebrate her birthday last night after Braden's game too, so that was
great. Brooklyn's latest 'incident' has got me thinking about how we
aren't really thankful for what we have until we don't have it anymore.
For instance, we don't usually wake up thanking God for our eye sight or
our ability to hear or walk, we just do it. But once one of those
things is injured or hurt, it's all we can think about. When you stub
your toe really bad, every step for the next hour or so hurts; if you
break your foot and are in a cast, you can't wait until the day when you
can walk normally again. If you had to wear a patch on your eye every
day, you would count the days til you could use both eyes again. And
most likely, you would pray for God to heal you quickly. We have just
under a year left for Brookie's treatment. We are getting closer and
closer to her being declared cancer free and I am learning to be
thankful for every healthy day. One of the songs we sang in church this
week said "I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord." I thought it
was so appropriate since eyes were our focus this week. I am thankful
my eyes can look up.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-87232246127716545752012-04-24T22:40:00.000-07:002012-04-24T22:40:24.435-07:00Questions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Brooklyn has been feeling well the last couple weeks. She hasn't had much nausea in the mornings and when her home nurse Wendi came out last Monday to check her blood, her numbers were all right where they want them to be. We have still been struggling to get her to eat healthier food, so dinners at our house are not the most fun time of the day. She has been preferring to not eat than eat something she thinks is going to be yucky. Even things she typically likes, like mac & cheese, she will refuse if it doesn't look the right way. It is good to see that her stubborn strength is still helping her battle the cancer, it just doesn't make meal time very easy. :) Two weekends ago, Mike and I got to go to Arizona for a trip with his work. It was a really nice resort and it was good to get away together for a few days. My parents and aunt and uncle all watched the kids and they had a fun time. We were nervous to be so far away, especially because the resort didn't have cell phone service, but everyone stayed healthy, so that was a huge blessing. We haven't been away from them for that long before so it was really good to get back home on Sunday, I swear they looked like they had grown! :) Kelsey is starting to talk so much more and wanted to tell us everything she did with "Bubba, YaYa, and Bookie." :) I woke up that night with the flu, which made Monday and Tuesday hard because I wanted to stay away from the kids so they didn't get it, but they just wanted to be near me because we had been gone all weekend. Thankfully I was better by Wednesday and no one else got sick. We had a fun Saturday filled with back to back baseball games which was a little crazy for Mike, running from Braden's game straight over to Kayla's field. It was a really hot day too, so we all got some color, my color was mostly a reddish hue since I made sure to lube up the kids with sunscreen but forgot my white legs of course! We were all so hot and sweaty when we got home, the kids and Mike actually jumped in the pool! Their jaws were shivering, but it was good to cool down and clean up a little. Then we got to celebrate my uncle Jack's birthday that night which was really fun and good to see some wonderful family and friends. Sunday after church we drove to Vacaville to meet our good friends, the Mullanes at the Nut Tree. We were quite a scene getting a table for 12 (they have 4 kids too), but luckily the restaurant we went to was loud and had plenty of other kids in it, so the noise level we brought just added to the mix. :) The kids all had a fun time playing on the play area afterward and then we headed home to finish homework up before Monday morning. When we were driving one day last week, Brooklyn started to ask me questions about God and Heaven. She said, "Do God have Petaroni pizza mom?" I said yea, I think he does. She then asked if He has tables. I said, yea, He probably does. Then she asked if God has medicine. I said, "You won't need medicine when you're in Heaven Brookie because you won't be sick." She wanted to know if we are young or old in Heaven and I said I wasn't really sure but that she didn't need to worry about that because she wouldn't go to Heaven for a long time, after she grows up and gets married and has kids and she is really old. She almost started crying and said, "I don't want to be old," which made me almost start crying because one thing every mom wants is for their kids to grow up and live a full, happy life and not die until they're old. I said, "I want you to be old Brookie." But she just kept saying she didn't want to be. I know that she didn't know what she was saying and that she wasn't getting deep and philosophical on me or anything, she is 4 after all, so I just changed the subject. But this Sunday in church, we sang one of my favorite songs which always makes me cry. The chorus is talking about what life will be like in Heaven and I thought it was perfect after the conversation we had just had last week. The words say, "No weeping, no hurt or pain, no suffering, You hold me now, You hold me now. No darkness, no sick or lame, no hiding, You hold me now, You hold me now." It will be wonderful, whatever age we are.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-60467805703683584052012-04-09T22:56:00.000-07:002012-04-09T22:56:53.568-07:00Spring Break<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6Sqw2VaXNKJ-brU3F6hIRulQDIEd4uP5i6mZdaa9d9TIJcQnbfGYsUlgkDndl_SSI4FLSSb4bJzynbuYgZeQ0XToNxTwGkTn0zUaWA1vdGD2FAJD3P2m0G-1s8XTD8Tg_GZHrLeMxKu0/s1600/005.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6Sqw2VaXNKJ-brU3F6hIRulQDIEd4uP5i6mZdaa9d9TIJcQnbfGYsUlgkDndl_SSI4FLSSb4bJzynbuYgZeQ0XToNxTwGkTn0zUaWA1vdGD2FAJD3P2m0G-1s8XTD8Tg_GZHrLeMxKu0/s320/005.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Mike was laughing at me last night because I had just told him that I think this last week was the best week ever. He said, "I think you like spring break more than the kids do." It might be true! I love being on our own schedule and getting to do fun stuff together, and getting to sleep in a little bit too! Monday, Brooklyn had her monthly appointment with her oncologist, and it was the first time all of the other kids have come with us to her appointment. The doctor said she was looking good so then we headed over to to the infusion room. I wasn't sure how it would work there because they only allow one family member in while she is in there, but Mike had a lot going on at work, so he couldn't make it to the appointment, so I had all 4 kids with me. They were really great about it though and put us in one of the isolation rooms. It was so cute because Braden and Kayla were really into watching the nurse draw Brooklyn's blood and give her the chemo, and they kept saying how brave she was. Brookie was loving showing them how she could help with everything from cleaning her port to flushing it and helping shake up the blood. It was really sweet because the nurse took Brooklyn into the other room to pick a prize when she was done and she came back with a present she had picked out for each of the other kids. I took them out for frozen yogurt after we were done because they were so good during both appointments. Tuesday morning we woke up and got on the road to head to San Francisco for the day. I thought it would be fun to take the kids to the SF zoo because Mike and I had been there one other time when Braden was really young and had loved it. It was a really fun day and we loved seeing all the different animals and hanging out all together as a family. After we were done there we took the kids down to Pier 39 to see the sea lions and have dinner. The weather was perfect for us all day and it was so much fun to take a little day trip. Wednesday the kids got to play with some friends while I ran some errands to get ready for having bunco at our house that night. They really wanted to stay up and watch all of the moms roll dice, but they were all pretty tired from our big trip the day before. Thursday morning we got up and went to horse camp. We have been to this same camp a few other times, and the instructor is great with the kids and our kids love being around all the animals. I stayed with them because I wanted to make sure that Brooklyn was doing okay since she was one of the younger kids. They got to hang out with chickens, bunnies and horses and the older three all got to ride on a beautiful white horse named Stella. They also got to play on the trampoline and ride the zip line and finished the morning with an Easter egg hunt. They had a lot of fun in just three hours! Kelsey loved playing with everyone too, and even got to sit on Stella with her big brother. We had lunch and played at the park with our friends after camp and then rushed home for Kayla's t-ball practice. We were all pretty tired that night! Friday we had lunch at our favorite pizza place with some good friends and the kids spent every quarter we had in the game room. Going out to lunch and to the zoo and horse camp are new adventures for us since we haven't done a lot of that for the last year. It still freaks me out to have Brooklyn touching everything and sitting or laying on the ground, but I just try to wipe her hands with wipes as often as I can and hope that she doesn't get germs that will make her sick. She was on steroids again all week, so she had a few temper tantrums each day, which would usually end up with her crying on the floor, wherever we were. I know she wasn't feeling 100% so we tried our best to have extra patience with her during those times. Saturday, Braden's team had a scrimmage against another team so we all went out to watch. It was really fun and the team looked great! Coach Mike was really proud of them. :) After the game we ran some errands and then came home to work on a project Braden has due for school this week. Yesterday we woke up at 4:00am and 5:45am to Braden in our room wondering if it was time to go hunt for eggs yet. A little before 7:00 we all finally got up and came downstairs to find the Easter Bunny had visited our house! The kids had a wonderful time looking for eggs and we had a fun morning at home. We then went to a wonderful service at church and then headed over to my parents' house for the afternoon. My aunt and uncle were there and my parents' good friends the Shaffers came over for dinner too, so it was a wonderful day. We ended the night eating ice cream sundaes around the fire pit, two of our favorite things at Gaga and Papa's house. The kids actually had today off from school as well. We were a little more mellow today since they go back to school again tomorrow. My mom and the kids and I went to a park for a memorial picnic in honor of my friends' father. It was good to see her and spend some time with a family that I was so close with growing up. I took the kids to a playground after we left because they thought they were going to get to "play" since we were going to a park, but they didn't have much chance to while we were there. There was only one other little boy at the park, so we pretty much had it all to ourselves. I love watching the four of my kids play together, their laughter and happiness bring such joy to my heart. I pray that they will continue to be friends as they get older. When we got home I asked Brookie if she was feeling okay because she wasn't looking great and she said, "No, I don't teel good." and then ran outside to play with her brother and sister. She always seems to get a little swollen during her week on steroids, and I don't know if it's from eating more, or just from the drugs or if she holds more water, but her cheeks fill out and her belly gets a little more round. The next three weeks, she always slims back down, but then she starts them up again. I don't know if she's just not feeling great because she just finished steroids Saturday, or if her chemo is making her stomach upset or if she's just tired from our busy week. It could be a combination of the three I suppose. She still amazes me and although her moods may change as quickly as the weather lately, I know her feisty-ness and determination are what are helping her through this tough time in her life. I am so thankful for her strength. <br />
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We have had a fun couple weeks. The weather has been crazy, with sun one day and then rain for the next three. We've been trying to get outside whenever the weather has been nice & have been loving the sunshine. Brooklyn has gone to two swim lessons and done amazingly well! After her first lesson, the teacher told me that she thought Brookie was almost ready to move up to the next level and that Brooklyn kept asking her if she could just swim across the whole pool. :) She has no fear in the water, so it is great that she is getting some practice in now before we start swimming in our pool this summer. We have also been busy with baseball practice (on the days that it hasn't been rained out!) Mike has been amazing juggling 2 teams, organizing the schedules and teaching 25 kids ranging from 5 to 10 how to play baseball. We haven't started games yet, but it will definitely be exciting once we do! We had the kickoff pancake breakfast last weekend and Brooklyn wanted to wear a jersey just like Braden and Kayla, so they were pretty cute all together. We took the kids to see The Lorax in the afternoon and had such a fun time. The kids loved it and even Kelsey made it through the whole movie without squirming too much and having to go outside. :) The kids all had fun weeks this week at school and Brooklyn and Kayla had parties and egg hunts in their classes before getting out for spring break. Brooklyn still seems to not be feeling great after the weekend, with the extra chemo making her stomach hurt in the mornings, but her blood counts are right where they want them to be, so it is good that her body is responding the right way. We are also super thankful that we have all stayed healthy the last couple weeks, especially after Kayla had strep throat. Brooklyn hasn't been wanting to eat much besides pizza and candy, so we are working on getting her to eat healthier food, which has been a bit of a struggle. After all, who doesn't love pizza and candy for every meal? :) It is still hard because we don't know if she's just being stubborn or if the food is really tasting bad because of her chemo. We're just trying to take it one meal at a time and explaining to her that we want her to be healthy as she's growing up, but all of that is a little much for a 4 year old to understand. :) This weekend Kayla got to spend the night at Nana & Bumpa's house and Brookie got to spend the night at Gaga and Papa's house Friday night. It was super special for each of them to get some time on their own with my parents and aunt and uncle. It was also super quiet here with just Braden and Kelsey! Braden got to go with Mike to his softball game Friday night, so he loved that too. We are pretty much all baseball all the time around here! We got some stuff done around the house this weekend which was great, and we are really looking forward to having the week off from school this week! Hopefully we will have some sunshine and everyone will stay healthy all week! I know how different spring break will be for us in 10 years, so I am going to be sure to enjoy every day with our kids while they still want to spend it with us. :)<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiotW1DNbyQ9YCe2RsQkDO_WZYbJgFps-foY06dHfYtb-tVIyhu-BSt8JNO_g7btXGb9Dggv0YRd5JICgXusNWp5uq7QBz0QyV1uMTtjJf9Eyuso9xI4W_rr-f9YAEJE7IUvngQy6JnnUk/s1600/015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiotW1DNbyQ9YCe2RsQkDO_WZYbJgFps-foY06dHfYtb-tVIyhu-BSt8JNO_g7btXGb9Dggv0YRd5JICgXusNWp5uq7QBz0QyV1uMTtjJf9Eyuso9xI4W_rr-f9YAEJE7IUvngQy6JnnUk/s320/015.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-17466092225316017772012-03-14T21:24:00.000-07:002012-03-14T21:24:08.231-07:00Birthday Fun!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEhI-xEFQ_VLsNh6gThFqWLk20_OUT6zMNw0YSimWA7HmIuF-azgrmO4IEcadJesQihnwcErnoT70tafe8nlgddLPzslkWiB4sFX3kb8cT6A6lrGhqEXZKq0q2RYJwZsio2gCfoU7djgc/s1600/089.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEhI-xEFQ_VLsNh6gThFqWLk20_OUT6zMNw0YSimWA7HmIuF-azgrmO4IEcadJesQihnwcErnoT70tafe8nlgddLPzslkWiB4sFX3kb8cT6A6lrGhqEXZKq0q2RYJwZsio2gCfoU7djgc/s320/089.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Thankfully, we made it through the last couple weeks without the kids getting sick. None of the kids got the stomach bug that Kayla had, although Mike and I had a few days where we weren't feeling our best, so that wasn't fun. Last Monday kicked off a busy week for little Brookie though, so we were so glad that we were all healthy again. We went to the Oncologist Monday morning and got great reviews. :) She is growing well and is responding well to the increased chemo. Her numbers are actually back up despite the larger dosages making her feel nauseous. She is also cleared to do some "normal" stuff like swim lessons and gym class again! We were so excited because we have taken a year off from pretty much everything in order to minimize her exposure to germs. She also wasn't supposed to swim much last year because she had the broviak in which wasn't supposed to get wet. Now that she has a port, her risk of infection is lower and she is able to start up some classes again! She loved going in the pool last summer, but it was so much work trying to keep her broviak dry and cleaning the site and the tubes over and over, and she wasn't able to swim without help (although she really wanted to), so it will be great to get her started in some lessons to prepare her for a fun summer of swimming! After her appointment, she got her blood drawn and more chemo at the infusion room and then we rushed home to pick up Kayla from school. Tuesday, Brooklyn missed school because she had a spinal tap. We haven't been there for 3 months, but it was astonishing to see how "routine" it has become for us. She understood that she couldn't eat in the morning, and made sure that we remembered our 'surgery bag' full of toys and books that we always bring with us when we go. The nurses were all so happy to see her and 3 or 4 of them gathered all around her when we got there to welcome her and comment on how much she'd grown and how pretty her hair is looking. They were running a little behind, which is hard for little ones when they have to wait to eat, but Brookie started playing with another little girl in the waiting room who was waiting for the same surgery. I have seen her and her mom in the infusion room before and her hair is grown out about the same amount as Brooklyn's is, so I imagine she is at a similar stage in her treatment. She is in 1st grade and was very sweet playing with the toys in the waiting room with Brooklyn (though I still kind of cringe when we play with toys in the waiting room and I think about the germs that are probably on them!) It is crazy to think that as her mom was waiting for her daughter to go in to surgery, she was probably having all the same thoughts and feelings that I was having. Neither of these little girls deserves to have cancer, neither of us want our kids to be sick, but there we all were in the same room, bonding over our unexpected and unwanted similarities. I pray that they have the same support and devotion that we have had from friends and family throughout their journey with cancer. They've changed the rules at the surgery center, so I had to wear a full "bunny suit" - scrubs with the hair net and everything, to go into the surgery room with her. Brooklyn thought I looked pretty funny, and I'm sure I did! She woke up right after the surgery was over this time, usually she sleeps for at least a half hour, so we didn't have to stay for too long. She was tired that night but seemed to feel fine. Wednesday was her birthday!! I decorated the house Tuesday night so it was all pretty when she woke up in the morning. She said a couple times, "I tant bewieve I'm tor years old!" It was so much fun to celebrate and have her feeling good on her birthday. It was so different than last year when she had just finished a month of steroids which made her gain 10 pounds. She was barely able to walk, her whole body was so swollen and she got tired so easily. It is amazing to see how well she is doing and feeling just a year later. We went to get "tozen yodert" for lunch with some friends and then had our family over that night to celebrate. Petaronni pizza and cupcakes never tasted so good! :) Thursday she got to go to school and brought more cupcakes to celebrate with her class. They were all happy to see her and she got to wear a birthday crown all morning. Friday was her birthday party. We got to have it at My Gym this year with a bunch of her little friends. She wasn't able to really leave the house last year for her birthday, so we celebrated at home with our good friends, but she has been wanting to go back to gym class, so it was wonderful to get to have her party there. They cleaned all the equipment for us before we got there in order to minimize her exposure to germs and the two teachers that hosted the party were amazing with all the kids. Brooklyn was so happy and had the best time. She fell asleep on the couch at home before she even opened her presents, it was a big week for a 4 year old! Saturday the kids (and Mike) had baseball practice and Sunday we celebrated my mom and aunt and my birthdays. March is a busy month! This Monday during the middle of the night, Kayla came in crying that her throat hurt and we found out yesterday that she has strep throat. We have her sleeping in Braden's room again and she is doing much better after starting her antibiotics last night, but we're hoping, once again, that no one else gets sick. We had a mellow day at home today, trying to get Kayla to rest so she gets better, and keep the other three healthy at the same time. We had a contest going to see who could wash their hands the most, so hopefully all the germs went down the drain! It has been quite a year for our sweet little Brooklyn, but she continues to amaze us with her strength and bravery every day. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRxiGyV23h2wNLU7ewbVqgIpDd_GFGslI8jU9KbRb3UACe4DNLK5duBJdIsIKetpk0wptcg-uZMsFZaBKj-JZoCWuUBX78ZbXNTjERjJ0UXhHeBql1-Td-SZsOjm1YWJUDtCTO8hyaOv4/s1600/131.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRxiGyV23h2wNLU7ewbVqgIpDd_GFGslI8jU9KbRb3UACe4DNLK5duBJdIsIKetpk0wptcg-uZMsFZaBKj-JZoCWuUBX78ZbXNTjERjJ0UXhHeBql1-Td-SZsOjm1YWJUDtCTO8hyaOv4/s320/131.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-72491899013116975662012-02-23T22:13:00.000-08:002012-02-23T22:13:24.772-08:00Family Fun<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2sSAZKXUx_6XPMNxHGdysCox9bYoTHmMY79_WDtsowHmOLVZJuz0yJPzKgm7eKQg2kqjGF8gtceDsstK94TwyNiCCH9ZrQY9WTLi9O9rqQJlefL_kzYt-BV-ACwsP4LDpjzzKoZuvsHA/s1600/016.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2sSAZKXUx_6XPMNxHGdysCox9bYoTHmMY79_WDtsowHmOLVZJuz0yJPzKgm7eKQg2kqjGF8gtceDsstK94TwyNiCCH9ZrQY9WTLi9O9rqQJlefL_kzYt-BV-ACwsP4LDpjzzKoZuvsHA/s320/016.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>We have had a great last couple weeks. Some amazing friends of ours gave us a two night stay down in Monterey, so Mike and I got to go down last week and golf and visit with friends from college and enjoy some time alone together. It was great because it seems like we have been really busy lately and haven't even gotten to talk much, so it was great to get away and have fun. My parents watched the kids and they loved spending time with Gaga and Papa. The kids had Monday off from school for Presidents Day so we went up to Tahoe on Sunday and spent the night with our good friends at their cabin. Kelsey woke up with a cold that morning so she wasn't feeling great and I think the elevation might've been bothering her ears because she wasn't diggin' the snow, but the rest of the kids loved it!! They went sledding and made snow angels and nailed me with a few snowballs. When we got back Monday, our original home nurse, Wendi, came over to draw Brooklyn's blood. Her son Zach is done with his treatment so that is great! He still has some more surgery ahead of him, but thankfully his cancer is gone! It was so great to see her again and catch up. Monday also kicked off the start of baseball season! Mike is bravely coaching both Braden and Kayla's teams this year. He is so good with the kids and really knows how to teach them the game, but it will be a busy spring for sure! Brooklyn wants to play baseball so badly too, so we got her some cleats to wear to the games and Mike gave her one of the extra hats. It's going to be hard to keep her off the fields during the games! When we saw her oncologist this month, I asked about the fact that her ANC level has been so good since she's been on maintenance (except for the two times we've been in the hospital.) They ideally want her counts to be between 500 & 1500 and they have been higher than 1500 the whole time. I personally like it when they are high because I feel like she is "healthier" and will be better able to fight a virus should she come in contact with anyone with a cold. However, I also know that we want to make sure the leukemia stays away, so it is best for her to receive the right amount of chemo to keep her in the correct range. When the nurse called with her numbers that night, she told us that the doctor wanted us to increase the amount that we give her at home. We actually forgot to do it the first week (awesome job, I know) but we increased her pills over this last weekend. She seemed to do fine with it, but by the 3rd morning, she was feeling nauseous and not great so we let her stay home from school. It is hard to figure out exactly how to make her feel as good as possible, but we are working on it. Giving her some anti-nausea medicine on Tuesday seemed to help her feel better, so we may need to start giving her that more regularly. It makes me a little sad that we have to give her more medicine, but I also trust the doctors and know that they've done enough research to know the best way to cure our little girl. Yesterday after school, Kayla came home with a fever and said her stomach hurt. She felt pretty bad all afternoon and her fever was up to 102 so we made the spare bed in Braden's room and had her sleep in there. Of course we don't want him to get sick, but if Brookie gets a fever, we will have to head back to the hospital, and we really don't want to do that. The kids have all been hanging out together though, so there is a good chance Brooklyn will get sick too. I was thinking this morning that it's kind of like when you're watching a suspenseful movie; you are on the edge of your seat because you just know something is coming and you want to be prepared for it so you're not thrown off guard, but you don't know quite when it will happen. Hopefully our life won't be like a crazy movie this weekend, but I might pack a bag of stuff so we're ready just in case we have to go in. Mike and I were just saying the other day that it is really amazing how 'normal' our life is while going through this battle with Brooklyn. We are so thankful for all the research that has been done to help find a cure for all of the children with leukemia. Our doctors and nurses, outreach from our friends and prayers have really carried us through this time, and we are thankful.<br />
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</tbody></table>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-84735342369167111562012-02-09T21:41:00.000-08:002012-02-09T21:41:51.952-08:00What a Year<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVyGXhr-4gAzkk451oypmNsidj5CsQRTb1pqhRuT6ca0L9dfCRWXRoHunrBHK4jDiMtkpr0E0m8hu54Lt8qpu4gnSbvU2lxmlC7IDTkF3dpFmDec4lJEt5gxd1p26DzVehtSu27Z3FL0k/s1600/176.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVyGXhr-4gAzkk451oypmNsidj5CsQRTb1pqhRuT6ca0L9dfCRWXRoHunrBHK4jDiMtkpr0E0m8hu54Lt8qpu4gnSbvU2lxmlC7IDTkF3dpFmDec4lJEt5gxd1p26DzVehtSu27Z3FL0k/s320/176.JPG" width="239" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgce4W2fJjJadx_kh8efE-bVuYxxc7YD42i7-CWTAEjJkbs-lEQ6fu_6u5LtLRogcWKrfQYi35LKlIxgIcP7Z4n5h7ZRYRqboUc3jcJfp402NKr40rd9P7ynFvEWrncsNrpZzSm1SnRW-8/s1600/083.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
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It has been just over a year since our lives have changed dramatically. Yes, of course our lives changed a lot after we got married, and after we had our first child, and then the next, and then the next...but to receive the news that one of your children has cancer is never something you expect. It is almost surreal to think back to the night when our pediatrician called me at home to tell me that Brooklyn's blood tests had come back and that he was pretty sure she had Leukemia. I was floored. She had been sick back in October for a couple weeks, so our doctor ordered some blood tests, which came back pretty normal, but he just wanted us to follow up with more tests the next couple months to be sure all of her numbers were going the right way. I really hadn't wanted to go in that day in January because I knew she was fine, and I hated having to get her arm poked for nothing. She had been acting totally normal, in fact, we had just gone to her gym class and I had a little time to spare before I had to pick Kayla up from preschool. It wasn't fun but she did great and we went on with our day. When he called that night, I didn't even know what to say. I didn't know anything about Leukemia, or much about cancer in general, except that it is bad. I never even watched the St. Jude commercials because I thought it was so sad to see kids that were so sick. He told me we would have to check in to the hospital the next day and expect to be there for at least a week. He had called ahead for us and had already spoken to the Oncologist, whom he had worked with during his residency. I tried to ask questions, but didn't really know what to say. Mike was still at work so I had to call him and tell him to come home through my tears. It all seems surreal now. That week in the hospital seemed like an eternity. We learned more in 48 hours than we ever thought we would know about blood or cancer or surgeries. Our pastor called a wonderful doctor from our church and she came and met us at the hospital and helped answer our questions and even met with the oncologist with us to help get some answers. It was awesome the way that our family and friends rallied around us, stepping in wherever we needed help. We didn't have to worry about Braden and Kayla because my parents were with them and we had people taking turns driving Kelsey back and forth from the hospital 3-4 times/day so she could nurse. It was comforting to know that we didn't have to worry about the other kids during a time when we were worried so much about Brooklyn. One of the hardest parts about that week and that time was that she seemed totally fine. So, it was like we were taking a healthy kid in to the hospital and making her sick. She was so amazing throughout everything. She never questioned why we were there or why she had to do all of this stuff. It was all so confusing, trying to decide if she should have a broviak or a port, whether she should be on the "study" version of treatment, how she should take her medicine...these were all things we had never thought about before and didn't know the right answer. We learned though that because of all the research that has been done and trials and tests, the cure rate for ALL is almost 90%. That means it goes away and never comes back. I never thought I would be thankful for the kind of cancer my daughter has, but I am. We have been so incredibly blessed by so many people this year. The support from our families has been wonderful and we are so thankful for them. The way that our friends have rallied around us with prayers, time, meals and gifts as well as two amazing events in Brooklyn's honor has been more than we could've ever dreamed of. We are so humbled by your support and thankful for your help throughout this past year. I was looking through pictures the other day and it almost brought me to tears to see how bald Brooklyn was this summer, and to see how big she got during her first month on steroids. She has been through so much this past year, but to see her now is amazing. You wouldn't even know she is still going through treatment. Sure, the steroids that she's taking again this week still stink, make her irritable and cause her to wake up all night long and we still have to be extra careful with germs and fighting infection, but overall, she is doing so well. Her sweet spirit and amazing fight are proof that God is holding her through this time, He is holding and helping all of us. <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgce4W2fJjJadx_kh8efE-bVuYxxc7YD42i7-CWTAEjJkbs-lEQ6fu_6u5LtLRogcWKrfQYi35LKlIxgIcP7Z4n5h7ZRYRqboUc3jcJfp402NKr40rd9P7ynFvEWrncsNrpZzSm1SnRW-8/s1600/083.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgce4W2fJjJadx_kh8efE-bVuYxxc7YD42i7-CWTAEjJkbs-lEQ6fu_6u5LtLRogcWKrfQYi35LKlIxgIcP7Z4n5h7ZRYRqboUc3jcJfp402NKr40rd9P7ynFvEWrncsNrpZzSm1SnRW-8/s320/083.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-60355496198456062272012-01-22T22:31:00.000-08:002012-01-22T22:31:39.170-08:00Let Them Be Little<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4q1ZIFRQyl9xyG187M5mkp3470bFDMksWsaWQiH26w4J1O2hgllBRO1-KkakZA21pCRi6PnZAs32KcJJyzQNJycPfjfTqx5vDltqgAhM1YkyRbggKIzkhqCO0s_Zb2L68YsinEGBJAaY/s1600/095.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4q1ZIFRQyl9xyG187M5mkp3470bFDMksWsaWQiH26w4J1O2hgllBRO1-KkakZA21pCRi6PnZAs32KcJJyzQNJycPfjfTqx5vDltqgAhM1YkyRbggKIzkhqCO0s_Zb2L68YsinEGBJAaY/s320/095.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Have you heard that song by Billy Dean? I heard it again recently and it's one of those that always makes you cry. It says "Let them be little, cause they're only that way for awhile. Give 'em hope, give them praise, give them love every day. Let them cry, let them giggle, let them sleep in the middle, oh but let them be little." If that doesn't make you stop and think, I don't know what will. It's so easy to get caught up in the day to day of life that you don't take the time to let your kids be little. You don't get on the floor and play or make up stories together or jump on the bed. How many times have I caught myself saying things I never thought I would say? "Stop blowing bubbles in your drink. We don't sit on the counter. Do I look like the garbage can? There's no spitting in the car!" Really- that last one is a frequent one believe it or not. I was talking with someone recently who had a friend who's kids had all gone off to college and she was having the hardest time adjusting to not having her kids at home anymore. I know that time sneaks up on us faster than we expect. I don't want to look back on the time when our kids were little and wish I had spent more time with them or played more or imagined more. I am totally guilty of that at times though. It seems like I need more hours in the day to get everything done, so it's easy to just let the kids play together while I clean or cook or get organized. Things can get so busy that I can expect too much from our little kids, we want them to act like a "big kid", tell them we expect more from them, want them to be more responsible. But they are going to have to do that their whole lives. They have so few years when they don't care what other people think, they don't have to worry about school or work or responsibilities. We should cherish that time for them because they don't know that it's so limited. We should sing out loud and dance in the rain and laugh til it hurts. You would think I would have it all figured out now especially since Brooklyn has leukemia, I should cherish each day and just have fun, but I don't. She was on steroids again a couple weeks ago but it seems like the effects of the drugs lasted longer this time. She has been particularly feisty and gets angry easily if she doesn't get her way. She woke up every night again during her week on steroids and then for the next few nights afterwards. She has slept through the night the last few nights though so that has been great. It seems so logical that we should laugh and dance and play with our kids all the time but when you're in the midst of a day full of whining and crying and fighting, it can be easy to forget that you want to sit and play with your kids while they're young. Our kids are really so good though and we are so blessed to have them. I asked our kids, individually, a couple months ago if they knew we loved them and they each (except Kelsey of course) said yes, we tell them every day. That is what I really want. I know I may not always play as much as I should, but I do always want them to know they are loved. I was folding laundry the other day and Brooklyn started jumping on my bed. I immediately started thinking of the monkeys jumping on the bed song, but before I told her to stop, I saw the look on her face. She was having the best time in the world. Of course I don't want the kids to get hurt by falling off the bed or hurting themselves somehow jumping, but how much fun is it to jump on a bed? Can you remember the feeling of jumping and feeling like you're flying through the air before landing again on the springy mattress & taking flight again? You just don't do that as an adult. We don't take the time, we don't want to mess up the bed, and we don't want to get hurt either. But I didn't make her stop, I wanted her to feel that joy, that elation, that feeling of pure fun. She has been through so much this last year that she should get to bounce on the bed every day. Seeing her joy helped me to remember that I want that for my kids, I want them to enjoy being young, not have to worry about the worries of life or what lies ahead. I am going to do my part to "let them be little" for as long as possible.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-934966444317194152012-01-12T23:07:00.000-08:002012-01-12T23:07:39.794-08:00New Year<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqPsDjp41Zj2s_YTj3IzDP2kIKDDqKA2g0YG81Z2courB1Ieeij6RDWIe1OGPM6hLEhU_gcvg1WQtGfGa_6Kh1WvV9Ut5i7hzmjZyEringjKybl-as0cDUczraFPtLzscggOYji2luBwQ/s1600/024.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqPsDjp41Zj2s_YTj3IzDP2kIKDDqKA2g0YG81Z2courB1Ieeij6RDWIe1OGPM6hLEhU_gcvg1WQtGfGa_6Kh1WvV9Ut5i7hzmjZyEringjKybl-as0cDUczraFPtLzscggOYji2luBwQ/s320/024.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjulYsveEfx8VlCE6pLVaA2FzORUNgggzzOFO03skHrAgDsbnj9T8Wn-dHSmzq-3zgeASq6YCFT2DZejK13X95Rr0iVSnHYeCNvYQNWT6NDNGJyT25WpUrUZp2kzoUFNiJez_kDdj07iE/s1600/042.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
</a></div>Happy New Year! We had a wonderful trip to Southern California. The house we rented in San Diego was great & had a lot of land with it, so the kids had a blast running all around, playing soccer and basketball, climbing in the tree house and even trying to get wet in the pool (they didn't make it much past their knees because it wasn't heated!) The weather was beautiful and we were outside enjoying the sunshine every day. It was so much fun to visit with our friends again and to all relax for a few days together. We spent last year together in Tahoe and it was so much fun, but especially shocking when we called everyone a month after we had all be together to let them know that Brooklyn had been diagnosed with Leukemia because she had been totally fine during New Years trip. It was good that we got to all be together again and for the kids to get to play and see that she is doing well. It was also a miracle that no one was sick! It is not very often that you can get that many kids together in one place, especially during the winter months, and have everyone be healthy! The kids all did little fireworks on New Year's Eve and drank some "parkling tider" to ring in the East Coast New Year & then were off to bed. They all slept pretty well because they would play so hard during the days. Our drive home was much easier than the drive down, so that was good, but it was tough to get back into the swing of things last week. It kind of felt like we were dragging all week. Braden had his first basketball game last Saturday and it was really fun. This week has felt like we've been able to get back into more of a routine and back on our schedule. Monday morning we met with Brooklyn's oncologist and then she had chemo in the infusion room again. She is back on steroids this week so that always seems to make her not feel great. She has been doing well at school though, not as tired as she is sometimes and looking forward to going to see her friends and teachers. She was the "snack friend" today and was so excited to bring in powdered sugar donuts and grapes - two of her favorite things lately. It was definitely a little different than the snacks they usually have at school, but the other choice would've been salami, and I didn't think the kids would go for that. :) It is tough to see the toll that all this medicine is taking on her little body. During the one week per month that she is on steroids, we have to put a thick pad inside her diaper when she goes to bed because if we don't she will leak all over the bed. But the other three weeks out of the month, she could probably wear underwear to bed because her diaper is usually pretty dry. It is so hard because it's something that she can't control. I was thinking how hard it would be to not be able to control what is happening to your body; to want to do something, but not be able to because of the affects the medication has on your organs. I was getting Brooklyn ready for bed recently and another little kid her age was nearby and asked why she had to wear a diaper to bed. Of course, because the kid was three, I said she wore it just in case she needed it during the night. But I'm thinking, well, it's not really her fault, she can't ever get in a routine or sleep potty train because her system is so screwed up, and I don't know if it will change at all for the next year. Hopefully she won't need to wear a diaper to bed when she is almost 5, but who knows? Will her body get used to the medicine and know to wake her up to go to the bathroom or will she adjust so she won't have to go so often during the night or will they have to increase her chemo as she ages so it could have the same effect? I had no intention of talking about peeing so much, but it is just an example of how hard it is on her body to be taking all of this stuff. The steroids also make her wake up more often at night. Mike and I each had to take her back to bed 2 or 3 times last night throughout the night. We were hitting the snooze button for over an hour this morning because we were so tired!! She usually gets back in a routine of sleeping well through the night again a couple weeks after taking the steroids, but then a few days later, she starts them up again & the sleeplessness returns. However, even while complaining about the medication, I am so thankful for it. I think about how life was 100 years ago, and a child with Leukemia would've probably just been considered "sickly" and would most likely not live very long. I am so happy that she is able to take these drugs that are going to cure her. I want to hear her begging me for "just one more" donut over and over, I want her to be able to ask me for 5 more "petaronis". I want her to celebrate 90 more New Year's Eves. Another positive thing in all of this is that although it is tough that she is so young because she isn't able to tell us exactly how she's feeling, it may actually be a blessing because she may not remember much of this time. I don't remember much from when I was 3 years old, so maybe she will not have memories of surgeries and doctors and feeling terrible. That is what I'm hoping for. Our prayer for this year is definitely for health and safety and I know we will have lots of fun and laughter to carry us through. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjulYsveEfx8VlCE6pLVaA2FzORUNgggzzOFO03skHrAgDsbnj9T8Wn-dHSmzq-3zgeASq6YCFT2DZejK13X95Rr0iVSnHYeCNvYQNWT6NDNGJyT25WpUrUZp2kzoUFNiJez_kDdj07iE/s1600/042.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjulYsveEfx8VlCE6pLVaA2FzORUNgggzzOFO03skHrAgDsbnj9T8Wn-dHSmzq-3zgeASq6YCFT2DZejK13X95Rr0iVSnHYeCNvYQNWT6NDNGJyT25WpUrUZp2kzoUFNiJez_kDdj07iE/s320/042.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjulYsveEfx8VlCE6pLVaA2FzORUNgggzzOFO03skHrAgDsbnj9T8Wn-dHSmzq-3zgeASq6YCFT2DZejK13X95Rr0iVSnHYeCNvYQNWT6NDNGJyT25WpUrUZp2kzoUFNiJez_kDdj07iE/s1600/042.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-44574724063392076012011-12-29T21:23:00.000-08:002011-12-29T21:23:48.679-08:00Thankful<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uSGU9LmEbHU/Tv1KDkLVYxI/AAAAAAAAASQ/Sxt2wL8J9ZY/s1600/108.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uSGU9LmEbHU/Tv1KDkLVYxI/AAAAAAAAASQ/Sxt2wL8J9ZY/s320/108.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>I don't know if it is just this time of year, or this year in particular, but I have been so thankful and grateful for everything in our lives the last few weeks. Brooklyn has remained healthy this whole month! Yay!! I kept telling her that we didn't want her to get sick because we didn't want to be in the hospital for Christmas. I know that the nurses and doctors would've made it special for us, but we reeeeaaally didn't want to be there for the holiday. It was a bit hard to get stuff done because I didn't want to take her to any stores and expose her to more germs than normal and potentially have her get sick, so I would go out after Mike got home or he would pick stuff up for me when we needed something. It was definitely less chaotic than it normally is for us during this busy season, but it was so good. I told Mike that I felt so much less stressed than I normally do, and I don't know if we were just more on top of things with decorating and buying presents, or if we just realized that we need to slow down this year to keep Brooklyn (as well as the rest of us) healthy and so that helped us feel less pressure. It has been a great break from school too. The kids have gotten to play with some of their friends, and have had more than one day where they stayed in pj's all day - which they loooved! It was hysterical one day when we went to the park because we have been trying to keep Brooklyn away from germs as much as possible and right before we left to go home (because it was getting really cold outside and starting to get dark) I turn to look at Brooklyn and she has gotten her entire head wet from the drinking fountain. Ugh!! I'm thinking- she is going to make herself sick!! She got dried off once we got home and stayed healthy so we were thankful for that. We even got to go to church on Christmas Eve. I sat in the cry room with Brooklyn and Kelsey and my mom because we didn't want Brookie to be in the church with so many people. She wanted to go out with everyone else, but we managed to stay in the room and it was a wonderful service. We always do a lot of fun things with my family at my aunt and uncle's house so we all headed up there for a fun Christmas Eve and got home pretty late, but it was a really great night. Christmas day was magical. Brooklyn was the most excited that Santa had come during the night. All of the kids were thrilled, but her big blue eyes lit up when she came down the stairs and saw the presents all under the tree. She said, "Tanta came, Tanta came!" We don't keep any presents under the tree before Christmas because she is pretty sure that she should open anything that she sees as soon as she sees it, whether it's for her or not! We had a wonderful day after opening all the gifts and got to just relax, go on a walk, even watch a movie. It was great to just get to enjoy the day all together and rest. Tuesday we left and drove down to Mike's parents' house in southern California. It was a long drive, and we got stuck in traffic a few times, and Braden got carsick, so that wasn't fun, but other than that, pretty uneventful. :) It is so good to be here and visit with the Frank family. Mike's mom is done with her chemo but is still going through other treatments and isn't feeling great, so we brought 4 bundles of fun to keep her on her toes! We have spent time with Mike's brothers and cousins and aunt and uncle too so it has really been great. We haven't been able to come down here for quite some time because of all of Brooklyn's treatments and school and sports for the kids, so it is fun to be here. This weekend we are going to spend with friends from college that we always get together with for New Year's. It will be super fun and super crazy, 5 couples and 14 kids all in one house together. But we rented a big house, so there is room for everybody! Mike was really nervous about coming down because he was worried about what we would do if Brooklyn gets sick when we are away from home. This is the farthest we have traveled with her since January. We know that we will figure it all out though and continue to pray that she stays healthy throughout the trip. 2011 has definitely not been our favorite year. However, throughout all we have experienced, we have learned to be thankful for just everyday things that you normally don't think about. I am thankful every day for our four amazing kids. I am thankful for our wonderfully supportive parents. I am thankful every night when I go in to check on the kids and Brooklyn doesn't have a fever. I am thankful for Mike's job. I am thankful that we have a strong marriage. I am thankful for the support we have received from all of our amazing friends. I am thankful for all the research that has been done to find a cure for this disease. I am thankful for Jesus coming to earth for all of us. There is so much we have learned this year, but more than anything, we have learned how important it is to enjoy every day and to be thankful for all that God has blessed us with in this life.<br />
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</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-82913716966046868582011-12-13T22:49:00.000-08:002011-12-13T22:49:28.378-08:00Conflicted<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje5B4iTiqmFXo26a1U-zbxTB_Parn6nRAd2-xDtpWDaUORN7IRdArvPWClKOQLsCdps379KQhPSqucUN9zERDRLrZhdsKLDJkODi87NkPmyepmLVBuIj13ZkXFO1whq3jMGFw8aw0tUY0/s1600/142.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje5B4iTiqmFXo26a1U-zbxTB_Parn6nRAd2-xDtpWDaUORN7IRdArvPWClKOQLsCdps379KQhPSqucUN9zERDRLrZhdsKLDJkODi87NkPmyepmLVBuIj13ZkXFO1whq3jMGFw8aw0tUY0/s320/142.JPG" width="239" /></a></div><br />
Do you ever feel like things in your life are conflicted? Like in one circumstance, there are two contradicting options or answers. For example, I remember watching an infomercial one time at the gym a few years ago for the skin care line that Cindy Crawford sells. I was riding the elliptical machine thinking, I need to order that. It gets rid of your wrinkles, it has the nectar from a special cantelope in France, and her skin looks the same as it did when she was 20, so I really should order it. I neeeed it. And then I wake up the next day with a pimple. Seriously? Can you have wrinkles and pimples at the same time? So now do I need Pro-active? The people who use that acne medication all have really nice skin too. I think God is just trying to keep me on my toes (and maybe giggling a little!) To a more serious extent, we are constantly conflicted with choices we make these days for Brooklyn. We decided to keep her home two weeks ago so that she would stay healthy while we were out of town and because her blood counts were low, but last week, we sent her back to school even though we hadn't had another blood test to know if they had gone up or not. On one hand, we think maybe we should keep her home all the time to try to keep her healthy, but on the other hand, we want her life to be as normal as possible. The doctors even said that we should try to keep things normal for our family as much as we can, but that is so hard to do when we know how quickly she can get sick and how different that looks for her than for the other kids. A normal cold for a healthy kid can quickly turn into pneumonia for Brooklyn, which means another hospital stay and serious complications for her. We let the kids all go to that breakfast with Santa at my parents' golf course, but we haven't gone to see Santa anywhere else or gone shopping together because we don't want to expose her to so many other people with their germs and risk her getting sick. It is hard to try to balance what we need to do to stay "sane" and what we need to do to keep her well. She had a great time at school last Tuesday, but Thursday she was more tired and sat on her teachers' laps a lot. Friday morning I took the two little girls to a birthday party for a friend of ours. It was such a fun party and just right for us because there were very few kids there, and they had donuts and played for about an hour and a half and then it was time to go. I was so happy to get to take them out and do something "normal" like that. However, Saturday night, Kelsey came down with the flu. She had a fever for a couple days and was just tuckered out. We were so worried that Brooklyn would come down with it too because they are constantly together, but thankfully she never got it (and neither did the rest of us!) Yesterday, Brooklyn had her appointment with the oncologist and got her monthly chemo in the infusion room. She did great, as always, and got to spend the rest of the afternoon with my mom so I could get some last minute shopping done and take Kayla to her gymnastics performance. This morning she had a spinal tap. It has been a few months since she has had one, but we still have our routine down. We had to be to the infusion room by 8:00 to get her port accessed and then headed over to the hospital. We brought goodie baskets for all of her nurses and they were all so happy to see her. After her procedure, she woke up happy but wasn't feeling well on the drive home, complaining of a headache and dry heaving. She bounced back after a couple hours and was running around outside and making a fort inside. I was sitting with her before bed tonight and she found the bandaid on her back from her spinal tap today. She peeled it off and said, "Who put that there?" I kind of paused and said, "Dr. Ducore did." She asked me why and I said, "Because he poked you." (That is what we call it when she gets blood drawn or chemo through her port because it is all done starting with a needle.) She said, "When I was asleep?" "Yes." "Did he count first?" (She always wants her nurses to count to three before putting her needle in.) I said, "yea, he did." It blew me away that she had no recollection at all of her procedure this morning. I wonder what she thinks we do when we go there. She is awake and talking to all of her nurse friends and then falls asleep in my arms on the table in the operating room and then wakes up in recovery and we leave, but she never questions what happened or why we have to go. It is a blessing, I think, that she doesn't know. She has to take chemo every night at home, had a chemo infusion yesterday and a spinal tap today, but for all you'd know, she is as healthy as can be. She runs around and plays all the time, and just occasionally says she isn't "teeling" well. I know that is partly why it is hard for us to remember to slow down and not do so much with her, because she seems like she is just fine. It's another crazy contradiction because I want so much for the next year and a half to fly by so she is completely healthy again and cancer free, but I don't want to wish away her childhood. When she's done with treatment, it will be time for her to start Kindergarten, which is really great timing-wise, but we have been through so much just in the past year, I know we will want to hang on to her for a little longer. I think that we face conflicting & contradictory decisions throughout all of our lives, it is our faith and trust that gets us through those times. It is fine to need both Clearasil and wrinkle cream. :)<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFS-jHrUwpURtg4jF8mdvZcFSAppCT1L1PuNVttPog1b2vprUCaAuo2VQEm3L318TPSIayuVLowVYR826YewyPFVppA004PoiQvFvdds_9ZmhZ4604pCdjovR9hxW34eikeMTYQBDiY2c/s1600/113.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFS-jHrUwpURtg4jF8mdvZcFSAppCT1L1PuNVttPog1b2vprUCaAuo2VQEm3L318TPSIayuVLowVYR826YewyPFVppA004PoiQvFvdds_9ZmhZ4604pCdjovR9hxW34eikeMTYQBDiY2c/s320/113.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-37117763679469996732011-12-04T21:32:00.000-08:002011-12-04T21:32:40.184-08:00Staying Home & Getting Out<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0mMEQag0vlk5iJiW1zDMY_lmnYnH7oyMhdyWkEW_t_QO5NAUUoOCYCrfwd8QhJZ25zYfxu5BuXS4xDDkXadXsfnQ7hYDken-IP2aytDt-buGYeEu7D3X0haSj9qJY6WaeU44fN-0t7P8/s1600/089.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0mMEQag0vlk5iJiW1zDMY_lmnYnH7oyMhdyWkEW_t_QO5NAUUoOCYCrfwd8QhJZ25zYfxu5BuXS4xDDkXadXsfnQ7hYDken-IP2aytDt-buGYeEu7D3X0haSj9qJY6WaeU44fN-0t7P8/s320/089.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
We had such a nice Thanksgiving week. It was great to be home and just play & relax & hang out with my cousin. We even got our Christmas tree and got our decorations up which was way ahead of our normal schedule! It was a fun vacation and hard to get up and back into the routine on Monday morning. This week was a bit of a "hibernation" week in our house. Monday we took Braden to a doctor's appointment for a checkup and then went straight over to the oncologist for Brooklyn's follow up appointment after getting released from the hospital last week. They said she was looking good, her lungs sounded clear, her breathing is good and she isn't coughing anymore. We went to the infusion room to do her blood tests and then went to lunch together. I ran another errand and then picked up Braden from school, dropped Brooklyn and Braden off at home with my mom and picked up Kayla to go to gymnastics. It was fun to be able to take her because she hasn't been in class since last spring & she has always been kind of a natural gymnast (maybe because she is always bouncing off the walls at home!) She picked it up right where she left off and it was great to get to watch her doing something she enjoys so much. The nurse called while I was at the gym with Brookie's blood results. Her ANC level was at about 750 which was much lower than it had been in recent weeks. She had been right around 1400-1600 until she went into the hospital with pneumonia and it shot up to 13,000 because her body was fighting the virus. So, for it to drop from 13,000 to 750 in just a week was a big drop. When she is at 500, that is when we are on "house arrest" and can't be around anyone else or leave the house. So, since it was close to that 500 number on Monday, we decided she shouldn't go to school and should just stay home all week. The doctor wasn't worried about her numbers so we started her chemo back up on Monday night. We were nervous because if she would get a fever, we most likely would have to check into the hospital again since her counts are low. The thing that made us most nervous about that is that Mike and I were going to Phoenix this weekend for his work's Christmas party. I was nervous to leave her and be so far away, especially if she would get sick & need to go in to the ER. My parents and aunt and uncle all helped watch the kids and I knew they would have a blast, I was just praying she didn't need to go in to the hospital for anything. For Mike and me to go away for the weekend was amazing. Mike kept saying that a night in a hotel is like a week in Hawaii for us! So for us to be gone for two nights was like 2 weeks! We had such a wonderful time in Arizona. We got to see some of our best friends and had a really fun night out with them and then just enjoyed hanging out together all day Saturday. It was great to just be able to relax and not have a schedule and get to talk without being interrupted all the time. It was also really nice for me since I had been on "lock down" in the house all week. :) I like to get out more than we got to this week, but I know that it is not about me, that Brooklyn's health is much more important than getting out and running errands or visiting with friends. There will always be time for that, we need to be sure that she stays healthy and strong to be able to fight this disease and be healthy again. The Christmas party was really fun and we were so happy that Brooklyn stayed fever free all weekend so we were able to enjoy our time and not try to catch a flight home and rush to the hospital. Our timing for our flight home today was perfect because the kids went to have breakfast with Santa at my parent's golf course and we landed in time to get to the course before the kids got their presents from Santa. It was so good to see everyone and have the rest of the afternoon to hang out together. When I was hanging out with Brooklyn earlier tonight she said, "Mom, it's been long days since I saw you." I said, "I know Brookie, I missed you & I'm so happy to see you again." She gave me a big hug and said, "Me too Mom." It was really great to get away, but it is always so good to be back home.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-45927735758915363992011-11-22T23:20:00.000-08:002011-11-22T23:20:30.103-08:00Home Again<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja12RFx6xWleToJOal9B4bmzZkOhgBKINlQgrbHI4md1Twl_nNk0DSu8QoEnsffeKXRqPQVOT3_GLROhXE83AkfjdHz1WLb32ReGkK8idNjGDxzp2jI03eWodHr9gkSf7CIswnzPz4mgc/s1600/069.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja12RFx6xWleToJOal9B4bmzZkOhgBKINlQgrbHI4md1Twl_nNk0DSu8QoEnsffeKXRqPQVOT3_GLROhXE83AkfjdHz1WLb32ReGkK8idNjGDxzp2jI03eWodHr9gkSf7CIswnzPz4mgc/s320/069.JPG" width="239" /></a></div><br />
We got released from the hospital yesterday afternoon. The doctor was impressed with how quickly Brooklyn recovered from one day to the next. Monday she was breathing so much better than she was Sunday night, it was great to see. We were in isolation again because they weren't sure if the pneumonia was a viral or bacterial infection so they didn't want us to spread it to anyone else on the floor. It was nice to be in isolation because we got our own room again, but hard because we couldn't leave or walk around anywhere. We played in our room & watched a lot of movies to pass the days. It was wonderful to have one of our good friends as our nurse both Saturday and Sunday, taking care of us all through the night. Mike came back and forth to the hospital so that he could go see the other kids at my parents too since he hadn't seen them all week. Monday, the doctors felt like Brooklyn was ready to go home. Her pneumonia had gotten smaller based on the x-ray of her lung and her oxygen levels and heart rate were much better too. We had to pick up two antibiotics for her from the pharmacy and she felt good enough to walk down there on her own. It was the most exercise she had had in 3 days! She even felt good enough to walk out to the parking garage, and I was very appreciative because I was carrying all of our stuff, so it would've been tough to carry her too! Ever since we got admitted to the hospital, all she had been looking forward to was going to her GaGa and PaPa's house when she got out because that is where the other kids had been staying, so when we got to leave Monday, we drove right there. It was fun to get to see everyone, Braden and Kayla had made posters for her and Kelsey wanted to sit with her wherever she went. Brookie was so sweet too because she had gotten 3 new stuffed animals while she was in the hospital and she gave one to each of her siblings. She took time picking which should go to which kid - it just warmed my heart to see her thinking of her brother and sisters while she was going through such a yucky time. I ran to do some grocery shopping while the kids were at my parents' house so I wouldn't have to take them out to the store today and then we went home. Mike got home from work just a little after we did and it was so good to all sit at the table and eat dinner together again. We felt very blessed and thankful. Today my cousin's son flew out from Wisconsin to spend Thanksgiving with us. He was diagnosed with Lymphoma 2 weeks before Brooklyn was diagnosed with Leukemia back in January. He did amazingly well with his treatments and is cured! He started his freshman year of college this fall and felt like he wanted to come out to see Brooklyn for his Thanksgiving break. The kids are so excited to have him here and Brooklyn seems to feel an immediate bond with him, sitting next to Nate on the couch and at the dinner table. We are so happy to get to spend the holiday with him. Brooklyn is off chemo again for the rest of the week as she finishes out her antibiotics. We are trying to take it easy for the rest of the week so she can relax and get better. It is hard to keep her down though, she was up and playing most of the day today. It's good to see her so full of energy though, it makes all of us happy. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUzo148YdWdJ4CshvkLa6ytagH6gBQjcxyQskA_TN0bOvnGeYSoOqBspusZR3UZiTcsJ6uh3pRD4YYpzPM7o-iVyVa4fKQWGVkzdFprcYBnf7LDnL9enDBoYfTixffpxFnekdmdC-UP3g/s1600/082.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUzo148YdWdJ4CshvkLa6ytagH6gBQjcxyQskA_TN0bOvnGeYSoOqBspusZR3UZiTcsJ6uh3pRD4YYpzPM7o-iVyVa4fKQWGVkzdFprcYBnf7LDnL9enDBoYfTixffpxFnekdmdC-UP3g/s320/082.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-24571114188315142712011-11-20T00:11:00.000-08:002011-11-20T00:11:28.834-08:00Flying Solo<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuq-gB_8lX_HM-Gr086a7ig6dkxLVOb0MvR2_lhnjnV7oBItXQTiijCxmSSuSUPnD_u2sMdXGRVHC26TTbm30RDGjVYtW5C8aaXf188v0GLYzAuA8ciJ8XlPuGZC24YYmKDQTwn7Xun_Q/s1600/071.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuq-gB_8lX_HM-Gr086a7ig6dkxLVOb0MvR2_lhnjnV7oBItXQTiijCxmSSuSUPnD_u2sMdXGRVHC26TTbm30RDGjVYtW5C8aaXf188v0GLYzAuA8ciJ8XlPuGZC24YYmKDQTwn7Xun_Q/s320/071.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
"I did it!" That's the first thing I thought when I woke up this morning. You see, my parents and aunt and uncle have been gone all week on vacation and Mike has been gone since Wednesday so I've been flying solo. It's not like I don't think I can take care of my kids by myself, I am with them every single day and manage to get them to and from school and their sports & activities just fine. But Mike does a lot to help with the kids in the morning and at night, and is always on top of giving Brooklyn her medicine. We are a great team and I am so thankful for all he does, and my parents are always so helpful whenever we need them. I knew we would be fine on our own, but the little fear that we might need to go to the hospital made me nervous. I would have to find someone to watch the other kids, get them where they needed to be, go to the ER on my own, all of that. And Braden had minimum days all week, so he still went to school at normal time but then he got out an hour after Kayla, so there was a lot of running back & forth. One day I thought it would be fun for the 4 of us girls to walk to school to get Braden. The kids are always saying they want to walk, and we didn't have any plans that we needed to hurry home for, so I figured it would be a good day to try it. Why did I think that? Brooklyn wanted to ride her scooter but was going to slow & kept stopping to rest so I made her get in the stroller with Kelsey which made her cry almost the entire rest of the walk. Then Kayla got tired of walking, so she jumped on the stroller too. So, for the biggest hill on the way to school I was pushing all three girls and the scooter and sweating like I was running a marathon. My arms were practically straight over my head because the hill was so steep. I'm sure we were quite the scene. The walk home was much easier since it was all downhill. I let Brooklyn ride her scooter again and she kept saying 'this is the best day eder!' I reminded her that she had just been crying her head off five minutes earlier but she didn't seem to care anymore. We actually had a great few days together. Braden got to play at a couple friends' houses, Kayla had girl scouts, Kelsey had gym class and Brooklyn went to school and I even got to get some closets organized that desperately needed it! My parents got home this morning at about 1:30am and Mike landed tonight at 6:30pm so when I woke up this morning, it was so reassuring to know that things would all be back to normal tonight. Brooklyn has slept with me the last two nights because she has been on steroids again this week and they always seem to mess with her sleep. Wednesday night I think I was up with her 5 times taking her back to bed, so it was easier to just let her sleep with me. When she got up this morning she said she didn't "teel" good, so I took her temperature when we got downstairs and it was 102. I called the doctor and called my parents and we got into the ER about 10:00. She was complaining that her stomach hurt and she's had a little cold all week so they did their normal blood culture draw and then she had a chest X-ray. We watched Sleeping Beauty in our room in the ER but she wasn't feeling good so she slept on & off. Then they wanted to do an ultrasound on her stomach since in was bothering her. Her fever kept coming back and was still high, even after getting Tylenol, so they decided we would be admitted. Before we came upstairs, she also had a cat scan so they could check all her organs. The poor thing has been through more today than any 3 year old should have to experience. We finally got into our room tonight at about 7:30. It was a long day in the ER. Mike landed and came straight to the hospital, so he got here about 8:00. The doctors came in a little later and said that Brooklyn has pneumonia. Her breathing has been really rapid and shallow today, so I think that is what they were so concerned about. She is doing fine now, Mike brought her some powdered sugar donuts and when she ate one at 9:00, it was the first thing she ate all day. We will probably be here for a couple days but I am so thankful that everyone is back home safe & sound. It will be good to be all under one roof again.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-21962457600320444972011-11-14T23:03:00.000-08:002011-11-14T23:03:19.516-08:00Are You New?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0-sLHuNW0ictuQgvNSl_b7k-lu4QdIRxEJXOTAyD0gloH78BX_GxwrBHdqk-LvxOE_lXfO-6OZh_PQw_-IR1or2XfqfaMHGf0N8ZAReCrKmgp4q2uCt3T1U3dQUgBhTJC22AM2D5Ezoc/s1600/071.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0-sLHuNW0ictuQgvNSl_b7k-lu4QdIRxEJXOTAyD0gloH78BX_GxwrBHdqk-LvxOE_lXfO-6OZh_PQw_-IR1or2XfqfaMHGf0N8ZAReCrKmgp4q2uCt3T1U3dQUgBhTJC22AM2D5Ezoc/s320/071.JPG" width="239" /></a></div><br />
Mike and I will tease each other by saying that sometimes. Like in a situation where the other person should know the right response or answer but for some reason, aren't getting it. We like to joke around, so it's a way for us to be like - did you just get here? Why do you not know that answer? Have you not been the parent with me this whole time? :) We kind of were asking each other that question this weekend. But first, I'll go back. Friday the kids didn't have school so I took them to play at a park we haven't been to before. It was so great to have a slow morning and get to play and hang out and have fun. We went to frozen yogurt for lunch and then ran to the store. The weather started to get colder then so we came home and the kids curled up and watched a movie while I did some work around the house. We had some friends over for dinner that night and it was fun to visit and let the kids all play. Saturday was one of our first weekends without soccer so it was great to sleep in and not have to get out of the house so early. We had a relaxing morning and then thought it would be fun to take a family trip to the mall. Mike had bought me a watch for our anniversary so we thought it would be a good idea to go get it sized and walk around a little and go to dinner. Really? Are you new? For crying out loud do you think we could go to a more heavily populated place than the mall on a Saturday afternoon? Mike was dying and regretting our decision-making as we watched Brooklyn touch everything in sight. We decided to leave and went across the street to an open air area where they have a fountain that has water with lights that is coreagraphed to music. It was good to be outside & the kids loved watching the water dance. Then we went to one of our favorite places for dinner, but once again - dinner at a crowded restaurant on a Saturday night? Ugh. The kids did remarkably well in the restaurant, but Brookie did get tired and cranky toward the end of dinner. We got them home and into bed before it was too late, so that was good. We decided not to go to church Sunday morning because my parents and aunt & uncle are out of town so we would've had to bring Brooklyn into church with us and we just didn't want to expose her to so many people again since we just had the night before. I ran out to do some errands but everyone else just stayed home to play & rest. Kelsey has had a cold for a week now so she hasn't been feeling great and Brooklyn woke up with a runny nose Sunday morning and was kind of wheezing too. By that evening, it was obvious she wasn't feeling well and was starting to get a fever. She had a hard time sleeping very soundly so I ended up sleeping in bed with her most of the night and miraculously her fever actually went down. This morning we went to see her oncologist for her regular monthly appointment, and then she got her chemo in the infusion room. After picking up Braden and Kayla from school, some friends watched the kids while Mike and I went to their parent teacher conferences. They are both doing wonderfully in school & we are so proud of them. They have had a lot to deal with in the last year with moving, starting a new school, making new friends and their sister getting cancer. We are so happy that they have adjusted to everything so well and are doing such a good job with it all. Brooklyn wasn't feeling very well again tonight, but it was another busy day for her. It is hard to remember that we need to slow down for Brooklyn when everything else in life is still going so fast. It's been 9 months, but I guess sometimes I am still new to all of this.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikv-L-kWMaCdCwsTx87McJ3jz-TJuP7cOQFxYn2OBhJU62pV9CgKyKwTakZIDUhE8CUj7iuUq7l2H7uBbCFLo_G7vMzQqsZx-0V4MyDXMyfUTZbAEYStfhWtw0H0CoO6x0f4HUSCLSF2Y/s1600/089.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikv-L-kWMaCdCwsTx87McJ3jz-TJuP7cOQFxYn2OBhJU62pV9CgKyKwTakZIDUhE8CUj7iuUq7l2H7uBbCFLo_G7vMzQqsZx-0V4MyDXMyfUTZbAEYStfhWtw0H0CoO6x0f4HUSCLSF2Y/s320/089.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3877038679343453940.post-36065917109811072842011-11-06T20:47:00.000-08:002011-11-06T20:47:03.634-08:00Back on Track<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ8o5yp3xXfAVh3Air8FGgg86T0XTfYzjzemO5BerXGyol_t4ApnglHv_9-BGvp9UoyClGNZPB0CJ57xUIDBJlckgOh2NdLhu58xKwxJZMRxSAEF3b9HcSLHWlP7oupbYBJLwwgurAWs0/s1600/110.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ8o5yp3xXfAVh3Air8FGgg86T0XTfYzjzemO5BerXGyol_t4ApnglHv_9-BGvp9UoyClGNZPB0CJ57xUIDBJlckgOh2NdLhu58xKwxJZMRxSAEF3b9HcSLHWlP7oupbYBJLwwgurAWs0/s320/110.JPG" width="239" /></a></div><br />
It has been so great to be home and be back to our regular life again. Brooklyn's home nurse came out on Thursday, the day after we got home from the hospital to make sure she was doing okay and again on Monday to draw her labs. Her counts all came back good, which was great news since she had been battling a virus all week. She even started back with her chemo Monday night, so that was good to get her back on track. When I asked our nurse about any fear of relapse of the leukemia since she was off her chemo for a week, she said they don't worry about it when kids are off treatment for such a short period of time and that it is not unusual for kids to have to be off chemo for up to four weeks sometimes. The older kids had a minimum day on Monday for Halloween and I got to work in Kayla's class for their party so that was fun. They all got to wear their costumes to school and had a parade and I'm sure didn't get much work done at all, but they had a great time and it was fun to see the kids all dressed up. That night we went trick-or-treating in our neighborhood for the first time (since we didn't live her last year). I was trying to teach Kelsey to say 'trick or treat' during the day and she came up with something that sounded kind of similar. :) Braden was a GI Joe Ninja, Kayla was a witch, Brooklyn was Rapunzel and Kelsey was a gnome. Brooklyn's Rapunzel wig turned out to be a bit of a mess so she finally ended up taking it off, but it didn't keep her from making sure she got to go to every house for candy! There were a lot of families out walking around and it was a really fun night. I think Mike and I were more exhausted than the kids were by the time we got back home! Needless to say it was hard for the kids to get up for school the next morning. :) Thursday Brooklyn got to go back to school. Her rash was much better and she hadn't had a fever for a week so we felt like it was fine for her to go. On our way there, she said, "I bet my 'tends' are saying 'where is brooklyn?" She did well at school and I got to take Kelsey to her gym class again so that was really fun. This weekend was filled with soccer Saturday and Sunday for Braden, but now our soccer season is over. It has been great to get to know families on both Braden and Kayla's teams and the kids have really enjoyed getting to play with new friends too. We have been truly blessed with wonderful friends everywhere we have lived and have felt so supported by our friends through this entire process. Tonight when I was getting Brooklyn ready for bed I was just looking at her thinking, why did you get cancer? How did that happen? It's not fair. She is really so sweet and loving and has such a big heart. I know that she is doing well and everything is going according to schedule and that she will come through all of this as a stronger person, completely cured and great, but until that time comes, it's still hard to see her having to battle this disease. It is hard to know if she acts feisty just because she's strong willed and she is three or if it's because she feels terrible and doesn't know how to express it. It's hard to have to always consider where we are going for the day and if it is a good idea for her to go to a certain place or not. It stinks to have to make sure that no one has a cold if they are coming over to our house. She seems like she is doing great and plays like any normal kid, but as our trip to the hospital showed us last week, we have to be so cautious all the time. And the thing is, we will probably never know where she picked up the virus so it's not like we can just say, well, we won't go there again. You think that you always want a hedge of protection around your kids to make sure they are safe and healthy, with her it's like we need a six foot fence. We know that we are going to get through this time though and that God has a plan for Brooklyn and for our family. Like it says in one of the songs we sing at church, "my faith shall be my guide." <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtH2vjrVGjhfGi1y2xEgGLzu9iDJDt5P3qWfyDtVvdPjEZz1jTLfVAYmy2inqgnEPpEw916SmfdDpjSjQW2WrFsDzu4ezQR3Uy5SSQ-Z7ZkiUeCMq_5a_rEh1SgkZAZjFwTHdBEFEF-7o/s1600/114.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtH2vjrVGjhfGi1y2xEgGLzu9iDJDt5P3qWfyDtVvdPjEZz1jTLfVAYmy2inqgnEPpEw916SmfdDpjSjQW2WrFsDzu4ezQR3Uy5SSQ-Z7ZkiUeCMq_5a_rEh1SgkZAZjFwTHdBEFEF-7o/s320/114.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1